My problem with local independent wrestling are as follows….
- Too many out of shape guys working …. Now look, I’m not asking for everyone to be a Greek God, like me, but it’s really not that much to ask that you don’t resemble an average, everyday schlub.
This is wrestling.
When some of the fans, including myself, are in better shape than you, there’s a problem. When Chicken Hat can dance for 15 minutes and not get winded, and you are sucking air just by climbing into the ring, there’s an issue.
Being a wrestler, you’re supposed to hit the gym, I’m guessing 5 days a week?! Some of these local guys look like they go to the gym about as many times as they enter Hollister and Co. in the mall…. NEVER….
You wouldn’t want to pay money to go eat at a restaurant that billed itself as “ Real Authentic Chinese Food “ and then be told that the cook is a 17 year old American high school kid, whose only culinary achievement was heating up hot pockets and easy mac…. So, why should you expect the average fan to come to the show and pay to see a roster full of out of shape and average looking wrestlers, when, they can just go to youtube and put in “ drunk fights “ and see the same thing for free?
- Too many promoters who don’t care about the fans…. This is a HUGE problem. Promoters, for years, have taken complete advantage of the fans. And fans, as a whole, have the whole ‘ beaten dog ‘ syndrome. We get treated like shit and there we are, week after week, begging at the foot of the promoter to let us in, like a beaten dog begs for a treat….
There is one exception, here locally, and that’s Tony Faulk. He seems to be legit and cares about the fans. But overall, promoters see the average wrestling fan, and it’s probably a fair assumption overall, as small minded simpletons whose biggest thrill every week is going down to the local run downed shanty to watch some ‘rasslin …..
And, even if that’s the case, these are your core customers who come week after week, so why not cater to them and treat them with at least a modicum of respect. Because, let’s face it,with the economy and the independent wrestling business the way it is, you need these die hard customers, because they pay your bills and your roster. I know, I know, most promoters just did a double take when I had the gall to mention they pay their roster…..
- Too many shows being ran out of places that should be condemned …. I know when I go to a wrestling match locally, the first thing I want to be thinking of is “ am I caught up on all my shots? “ …. When I’m sitting watching a wrestling show, I don’t want to have to worry about catching the Ebola Virus…. When I leave a wrestling show, I don’t want to have to leave through a plastic tunnel into a CDC washing area, where I’ll be hosed down by a guy in a yellow hazmat uniform, while another uniformed CDC agent scrubs me with a sponge…..
The reason I stopped going to the Stadium Inn, is because I was tired of going to the bathroom in my sandals and getting my toes completely drenched in GOD KNOWS, what human fluid was on the floor…. Now, it wouldn’t have been so bad, if it was just little puddles under the urinals, I get that…. As a guy, we have the drippy drops…. But, when the floor looks like a firetruck pulled in there and the firemen got the hose and doused the place with human urine and other bodily excretions, it’s ridiculous….
I was literally standing at the urinal, taking a pisser, not moving, when I noticed that my feet were gliding out away from under me because of the slickness of the floor…. The toilets look like some crazy scientist thought to himself “ I wonder if someone took a shit in the same toilet for 45 straight weeks, without flushing, would a living, breathing, shit baby be produced?! “, and then proceeded with the experiment at the Stadium Inn….
I’m not asking to go see wrestling at the Taj Mahal…. But, asking for it to be held in an auditorium or a gym, isn’t really asking too much…. And, it’s not asking much to make sure that the place passes a basic health code screening either…. When I go take a piss, and somebody stands beside me and goes “ pssssh, my dick is bigger than yours, homey “, and I look over and it’s a cockroach, we got issues…. When Chicken Hat warns me “ I wouldn’t go in there if I was you “ in reference to the bathroom, I worry…. Because, he’s obviously not the bastion of cleanliness in the first place…. When I open my antibacterial gel and I hear it scream like a banshee, there are problems…..
- Too many wrestlers not dressed like a wrestler – This a HUGE issue with my grandfather, who’s from the old school wrestling world, where you never wrestled in anything but tights and kneepads.Look, this probably ties in with my first point, but if you’re not going to train your body to look like a wrestler, AT LEAST, dress like one.
Too many wrestlers on the indy scene dress like they just got down stepping out of a timewarp from 1993 after they just left the flea market…. Jorts and airbrushed shirts, what the hell is up with that?! One of my biggest problems with John Cena, is the fact he wears jorts into the ring…. BUT, at least he looks like a wrestler….
One of the things I’m always yelled at, because of my unique opinions is, ‘ you don’t respect the business! “ …. I generally laugh at this statement, because most of the time, it’s made by these ham and eggers who dress like this, showing no respect for the business themselves…. Do you know how many tranvestites have fooled many a men by dressing and appearing to be a chick?! If you’re not going to take pride in your body, AT LEAST, take pride in your ruse, chumps!
- The ridiculous infighting between promoters – I’ve been reading this story online about Gary Valiant being fired because he worked a show for a rival promotion and that pissed off another promoter, leading him to be fired.
That’s ridiculous.
The guy is trying to make a living, and trust me, I’m not the biggest Boogie fan on earth, so me defending him, is actually a rare occurrence, like me NOT gettingvag when I go out.
But this is the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve ever heard…. If I get a second job, that doesn’t interfere with my first job, to make ends meet, my primary job can’t fire me for it. So, why is wrestling any different? Especially with the pocket change these local wrestlers make from the promoters….
This all reminds me of high school girl drama…. Two chicks are sitting at a table eating lunch, they always eat together, at the same time everyday at the same table….. One day, one of the girls needs help with her homework, so she goes sits at another table, because another girl is going to help her….. The next day she tries to sit at the old table, with her friend, but the friend yells at her “you can’t sit here, because you sat with her yesterday and picked her over me! “ …. The other girls is like “ but, I needed help with my homework, that was the only reason I sat there… “ …. The other girl starts looking around and not making eye contact with her “ is someone talking?! I hear words, but I don’t see anybody “ she says as she continues to look around the table, searching for the invisible voice, she acts like she’s hearing….
It’s stupid….
This is nothing but TOTAL TEENAGE GIRL DRAMA… But with it being Prentice, this doesn’t surprise me…. But, what cracks me up the most, is the fact that a promoter THINKS he’s punishing a certain wrestler, by firing him for working for another promoter….
I can see a Prentice like promoter, sitting at his desk, stroking a cat, going “ I’ll have the final laugh…. He thinks he can show me up by working for another promoter who will pay him a payout, because he wasn’t making dick with me…. I’ll fire him and let him go ply his trade for money somewhere else….. He’ll be kicking himself when he opens up his payout envelope, looking at the dust rising from my escaping, speeding car in the parking lot and not seeing a handwritten note that says “ sorry kid, next time “ and instead sees dollar bills…. Those cold, inanimate, nonpersonal bills with someone elses pictures on it…. I’ll show him! HARRUMPH! “
It’s ridiculous….
Reminds me of working for a restaurant, where the general managers believe they’re the shit, because they run ONE chain restaurant, out of 20, in a 50 mile radius…. “ so you wanna go make more money, in what you perceive as a better environment, in a better position huh?! … well fuck you, what gives you the right to want to make a better life for yourself! I rule you!! I control you!!!! “ they shout as you walk out the door laughing at them, while they raise their fist in the air, still going off about your perceived lack of appreciation for being a common house slaves ….. If a wrestler is popular in a certain area, why not try to exploit that, by putting him on your show and bringing his fans in to your show, instead of refusing to use him because he works for a promoter who gave you the stink eye one night?! The independent wrestling circuit is dying slowly, so why try to speed up the process by having promoters bitch and bicker with one another?! Come together and help the sport, you calim to “ love “ , although, I’m sure my suspicion of you loving yourself and money more than the actual business, is all too true…. You’re a wrestling promoter…. Not Donald Trump….
- Old Time Bookers - If there is one thing that has never changed in local independent wrestling, it's..... EVERYTHING... It's time to shake things up, take a chance, go on the ledge, get away from the ' my boys ' mentality and be unique.... There is too much favoritism and ego baby-ing among local promoters.... Get someone outside your company, someone with no rooting interest, besides putting a good wrestling show on, to write and book your show.... There are thousands of people out there willing to do it... Someone like me, would do it for free, because we want to see wrestling survive and thrive, and there are hundred's of ' Me's ' in the area.... Well, maybe not someone with my dashing good looks, irresistible personality or unique creativity, but they are out there....
A lot of people will see this as another attempt to flame, but I am not. I'm just trying to give suggestions to help a business I love and thousands of others love, that is dying.... And I don't want to sit back and watch it take it's last gasps without trying to add my two cents...
thebro1869@yahoo.com
Bro -
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, a lot of the things you've stated here are things I've thought for a long time myself. There's a lot of merit in what you have to say, but I will say that there are also a lot of misconceptions here as well.
I do agree with the look and style of a professional wrestler. Far too many times there are guys wearing things that make them look as if they should be in the audience, not in the ring.
However, being in shape shouldn't be a pre-requisite. Some of the older generation wrestlers weren't anywhere near in shape by today's standards, yet their ability and their drawing power weren't hindered in the slightest.
Also, when it comes to the fans, Falk puts on a good show, but I would also say that Sircy and his group do a lot in the way of trying to show fans that they are welcomed and valued as well.
If you haven't checked a Sircy show in Lebanon, I suggest it. It's a decent change of pace, if you ask me.
On the Valiant thing, I totally agree, no indy wrestler is under any contract and they SHOULD be able to work wherever they choose. However, in this case, you're mistaken on one point.
It wasn't Prentice.
And far be it from me to stick up for Bert, but it wasn't Bert's show that Valiant was fired from. It was Bill DeShields, who knows less about the business than the little finger of a child.
Though Prentice is WELL known for doing the same thing, I have to give credit on this one where it is due and say that you got your facts mixed up this time.
As far as the airchair booking, I am 50-50 on this one. Not just any schmoe off the street can book a show, and most fans don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, especially in this area. Even on a national level, there are people who would be more than willing to book a show for free, but if you read what they would want to see, it would bury the promotion in a heartbeat.
However, that's not to say there isn't a diamond in the rough somewhere, that hasn't been discovered yet. Lets not forget, before anyone got into the business, they were fans first.
So, in closing to my rant...This is an excellent column, and I agree with many of the points, but, you're still on the outside (as many are) and don't have all the facts quite down. Very good read, and I hope you come back and revisit this again.
thanks for the comment, i appreciate it and value it. thanks for clearing up the Bert thing, I probably just put him in their because I've seen and heard first hand stories of him doing the very same thing....
ReplyDeleteas far as the look, i'm not asking someone to be a body adonis. beer guts are fine, a little overweight is cool, but when people come to the ring and they clearly haven't hit the gym, it shows and it bugs me.
i'll check out the lavergne show sometime. I need to branch out a little more.