Top Ten TNA Leeches

9. Kevin Nash

Earlier, I said Sting hadn’t had a good match since 1994…..

Kevin Nash hasn’t had a good match since…..

Exactly….

The guy can cut promos, I’ll give him that, but a wrestler who can’t wrestle and can only cut a promo, is a 4 corner ring removed from being Vince “ The Sham Wow “ Guy …..

I see now that Nash has gone to new trash bag pants for ring attire…. Well, I guess that’s really cutting out the middle man, because his ring work has always been garbage, maybe he’s finally realizing it.

Once on twitter, Nash broke some big shocking news with a tweet. Someone asked him what he thought of holding the TNA World Title…. He responded with something like “ it’s fake, I’ve had two matches for it in five years. I’d rather hold my ballsack “ …. Now, I know most of you are like “ yeah, the big news is that “ Big Ego “ doesn’t want a world title match for the first time in History “ …. And, I’d agree…. However, the shocking news here to me, is that he has a ballsack, because from his work in matches, I assumed he had a vagina, because most girls work better matches than he does.

I really don’t know why Dixie keeps him on the roster. Do you really think there’s a significant number of people thinking aloud “ I wonder what Kevin Nash is up to these days, gawwwwwwww, I just can’t get enough of Big Sexy “ …. Maybe 5 people…. 2 being family, the other three being overweight girls at laundrymats who wear Looney Tunes airbrushed T Shirts, Sweatpants, permed hair with bangs, who quote “ Rhinestone “ and “ Best Little Whorehouse in Texas “ as their favorite movies….. Because, no one flipping through the channels, who happens to be an old Kevin Nash fan, is going to even notice him anymore…. Dude looks like Father Time.

Or like he saw a Ghost….

Or like he saw God….

Which, would make an awesome storyline…. Or would have…. Just have him come out wearing robes, holding tablets of stone…. That, which are etched the “ Ten Wrestling Commandments “

With the following as the commandments

1. “ Thou Shalt Always Have Kevin Nash As Champion “

2. “ Thou Shalt Pay Me And Exurbanite Amount Of Money For Me To Do The Least Amount Of Work Possible “

3. “ Thou Shalt Have An Asian Seamstress On Hand AT ALL TIMES To Stitch My Hefty Trashbag Pants Together

4. “ Thou Shalt Always Listen To My Expert Wrestling Advice On Which Direction The Company Should Take, Which Inevitably, Will Be Me In All Main Events, Or I Shall Blast You On Twitter “

5. “ Thou Shalt Have A Cloning Machine On Hand, So Another “ Big Sexy “ Can Be Created. Therefore, I Can Always Fight Myself, Thus Assuring Me Of Never Actually Losing

6. “ Thou Shalt Always Have Kevin Nash As Champion

7. “ Thou Shalt Always Employee My Two Good Buddies AT ALL TIMES…. Scott Hall can be paid in bottles of Alcohol. The Kid, can be paid in a garbage bag, NOT THOSE USED TO MAKE MY PANTS!, full of copious amounts of various pills.

8. “ Thou Shalt Make Me Lead Booker Of All Shows.

9. “ Thou Shalt Always Have Kevin Nash As Champion “

10. " Thou Shalt Make All Staffers, When They Lay Eyes Upon Me, Answer Accordingly with “ Kevin Nash “ , When I ask “ Marky Marks against the wall. Who’s the greatest Wrestler of all? “

( as a caveat, I will say I wish Scott Hall the best of luck in his rehab, I hope THIS time he gets himself right, but only time will tell, we’ve been down this road several times )

I just don’t see the financial upside to having someone like Nash, on the roster. Are they really moving that many pairs of “ Big Sexy Trashbag Pants “ on the website? Is their a group of 250,000 wrestling fans that have been living under a rock since 1997, who have now just surfaced and wondering where they can see the next Kevin Nash match?! Is there a group of fetish wrestling fans who are clamoring for a taped match, that they can jerk it to, between Father Time and some studly hardbody? I doubt it. In fact, when I see Kevin Nash on TV, I turn the station, and I know several others that do the same….

And I’d expect that when he fights someone like Jeff Jarrett, everyone turns the channel…. Including, Dixie….

But! I could see some people watching them…..

I could see players from the Pirates and Cubs sitting around going “ geez, these guys suck “ …. The Rams and Browns team owners put on Nash vs. Jarrett matches for moral support…. After they’re done watching their matches, and wiping the blood dripping from their eyes after watching that for longer than a minute, the owners go “ now, go out and get ‘em, because you just saw the worst athletes working today, you guys are awesome compared to them! “ ….. Jeremy Borash watches them and thinks to himself with a smile “ These guys get laid? There’s definite hope for me still! “

And finally…. His finishing move is called “ The Jacknife Powerbomb “ …. Which should be renamed the “ jackoff powerbomb “ …. Because, that’s what he’s been doing in the ring since he first stepped into it….

He’s an absolute waste of money, that needs to go….. Yesteryear…..

Thebro1869@gmail.com