Steps To Make TNA Better....

Things To Make TNA Better......

The obligatory Lacey Von Erich pic.... Made to make this blog better than it actually is and make you forget about the shittyness of the post, ha.....

This part one, of a two part presentation on how I would make TNA better....

1. Get out of Orlando – It’s become stale. And that sentence could have been said in 2007 as well, that’s how stale it’s become. Any longtime wrestling fan who watches TNA on Thursday nights will instantly be reminded of WCW Saturday night…. And who can forget the classic matches that were held on that show?! You know, main events, that broke all sorts of ticket numbers, like Glacier vs. Big Boss Man and Ernest Miller vs. Scott Norton…. And, I’ve railed on the crowd for too long, so I won’t bring it up again, but that crowd is just a journey into the Twilight Zone. Every show it’s the same people on camera, with the same chants…. If they ever had a “ Groundhog Day 2 “ , it would have to be Bill Murray stuck at a TNA event in Orlando…. And who the fuck picks these people in the front row? It had to be the casting director for one of the greatest Horror movies of all time , “ Return of The Living Dead “ …. Seriously, remember the group of friends? These guys?

You can pretty much see their doppelgangers every week on TNA… There’ll be some douche with a Mohawk or dressed in some stupid punk attire to make him seem edgy and unique, when really it’s just some rich kid rebelling against his parents, by going to Hot Topic and listening to “ Minor Threat “ …. Then there’s some cute, preppy chick coupled with some asshole who uses some kind of prop for an attention getting device, much like the boombox dude... It's ridic....

I don’t know what the cost is to have a show each week, in a different city, but I have to think that if you cut the dead weight that’s leaching money from the company, by being on the payroll and their biggest contribution is depleting the Kraft Services truck, then you could probably change locations each week.Plus, and this is just a personal thing, but when I see wrestling done on a sound stage, it just goes ahead and pulls the curtain completely back on the company, exposing it in all 100 percent fakeness…. Holding it in an arena or auditorium, gives it some level of being considered legit.

2. Stop the WWE references – And if I was Dixie, I’d probably put a cease and desist order on Bischoff myself to keep him from talking about them. I know Mick Foley harped on this in a blog on TNA, and I love Foley, but I have to disagree with him…. Making WWE comments, when you’re TNA, does makes you look minor league and pathetic. Foley said that WCW and ECW both did it in their heyday and was never called “ minor league “ or “ pathetic “ and that they did just fine with those references…. There’s a HUGE difference between those companies and TNA.

WCW could compete and was competing at the same time, on the same level with WWE, TNA in all truthfulness, probably never will be able to do it…. ECW was growing by leaps and bounds, gaining fans every month with it’s product, TNA has held steady in the “ quantum leap “ and “ evening shade “ syndication ranking level…. And they have for quite awhile…. Plus, it’s just bad business to constantly remind your viewers “ hey, I know you’re watching us, but there’s another wrestling show that trumps us in all aspects of wrestling entertainment that we’re going to make comments about to remind you they exist, and regular double and triple our ratings if you don’t already know, so don’t, please don’t go watch that superior product to ours “ ….

3. Focus on Tag Team Wrestling – I know this sounds ridiculous, but the one thing TNA has always been good at, was Tag Team Wrestling. From the early days at the Asylum, to now, it’s always been their strong point, in my opinion…. And, it’s frankly, something they do better than WWE in, by leaps and bounds, so why not focus on the one area you’re extremely better at than your competition and make it your focal point….

The WWE hasn’t had a tag match like, any of the five, that The Motor City Machineguns and Beer Money put on, in YEARS, and they don’t seem interested in trying to, so why not give people the alternative to watch your program and go “ wow, they get what tag team wrestling is all about “ …. Because, there are a large group of people that still like tag team wrestling out their in the wrestling community. I’m not saying you’re gonna blow the roof off ratings with this, but it’s a step in the right direction…. And yes, my fingers actually locked up on me and refused to type for around 15 minutes, realizing I was writing something positive about James Storm, but..... I calls ‘em likes I sees ‘em….

4. Get rid of Hogan and Bischoff – This experiment has failed…. It was a failure from the start…. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, TNA is investing in stocks with no return and are losing money…. Somewhere, Bernie Madoff is clapping and admiring Easy E and Hollywood going “ well played guys…. well played “ …. And, I have no real vendetta against either one of these guys, besides Bischoff’s incoherent and laughable diatribes on the internet wrestling community, but you’ve got to let them go, use the money you would be paying them to invest in your company, and before you read that Dixie and start scouring the “ WWE recently released wrestlers “ list, I’m not talking about investing in more talent. That’s a HUGE problem in and of itself.

Look, Hogan and Bischoff were HUGE in the late 90’s… But so were Limp Bizkit and Dial Up Internet Service Providers like AOL…. And they both have something in common…. They’re all relics…. Just like people will sometimes reminisce about the soothing and sweet noise of a dial up modem connecting to the internet and the calming tunes of Limp Bizkit, people will have fond memories of Hogan and Bischoff, but they’re not paying to see them anymore, just like no one is requesting to go back to dial up internet service or clamoring and camping out to buy the new Limp Bizkit CD ( except for me, I will be there, doing it all for the nookie, still haha )….

And, this is not me just railing on them, because I want them gone, for my own personal pleasure, this is just fact. Ratings have gone nowhere since they came in…. Sure, they had a little spike at the beginning, but that was for sheer novelty reasons…. People just don’t care about these two anymore, and it’s just the way it goes with time…. The well has dried up, the milk has soured….. It’s time for them to be put on the “ TV Entertainment “ shelf next to “ TRL with Carson Daly “ and “ The Tom Green Show “ …..

And anytime “ Bischoff/Hervey “ get involved with producing something, it’s usually like the banshee wail heard over an Irish moor signaling a death soon to come…. Anytime I hear about these guys coming up with a new show, I just sit back and scoff, thinking to myself “ did these guys use Dixie Carter Mystical Time Traveling, Magic Capturing Wrestling Delorean “ to go somewhere in the future and get a list of the worst television shows ever made and decide to test the validity of said book, by producing every title covered in those 535 pages?! “ …. Seriously

5. Get better entrance music – This has been and will forever be my biggest pet peeve of TNA…. I’ve heard better songs from The Rockafire Explosion band at Showbiz pizza, back in the day…. You know how elevator music is just the instrumental version of adult contemporary hits that some artist made to sound similar, but not entirely too much, like the original? That’s what TNA entrance themes are. Just generic wrestling intro elevator music made to sound like it should be played on an 8 bit NES wrestling game hooked up to a knob controlled 10 inch color TV with factory speakers set at manufactured preferred settings…. It’s pathetic, and again, Bernie Madoff sits back and admires the guy who continually puts together TNA entrance themes and gets paid to do it, and quickly reaches for a TNA application himself…..

Part Two, soon to come.... thebro1869@yahoo.com