Top Ten TNA Leeches

In the following weeks, I will highlight the top ten TNA leeches.... What is a TNA leech? At first it sounds horrible.... " A leech that lives on tits and ass? " .... And it is horrible, just not THAT horrible.... These are the people that are sucking the living cash out of TNA.... I will start with my number 10 and work my way up to 1....

Enjoy....




10. Sting – This is not a stretch, but I could probably take a huge steamer in the middle of the ring, attach two paralyzed legs to it and somehow it would manage a way to work circles around Sting in the wrestling ring….

Remember when he used to be decent?

Yeah, me neither….

Actually, yes I do! It was around the time ‘ The Crow ‘ was popular…. The year…. 1994…. Which coincidentally, was around the last time he stepped foot in a gym.

Wrestling with a T-Shirt on? Everyone knows that’s the equivalent to the fat guy in the pool who wears a T-Shirt to cover up his massive man-mammaries….

Everytime this guy screams out “ It’s Showtime! “ , I emphatically call out “ When, exactly?! “ …. I get no response…. And that’s fallen on deaf ears since 1998….

I had this dream once where Dixie Carter hopped in her ‘ Mystical Time Traveling, Wrestling Magic Capturing ‘ DeLorean with Sting and went back to that fateful day on the set of ‘ The Crow ‘ where Brandon Lee was fatally wounded and switched Sting in place of Brandon Lee, and Dixie and Brandon Lee drove off high fiving each other….

I lied, I never dreamed that, that’s my fantasy….

I jest, I jest….

Kinda…

I remember being a fat little kid and being under the Sting spell…. I used to paint my face and I cried many a time when The Great Muta beat him…. Now, when I see Sting wrestling on TV, I actually yearn and wish upon a falling star that The Great Muta was in my living room and spit the dye in my eyes, blinding me from watching this horrific display of non wrestling ability….

And that ring attire…. Oh, the ring attire…. It’s been the same since 1997…. Someone once said to me during a PPV

“ I like Sting’s look, always have “ ….

After resisting the urge to punch him in the face, I quickly retorted

‘ His look? His look? You remember that pod in the Jeff Goldblum version of the ‘ The Fly ‘ ? Ok, so imagine that’s the pod and some hobo walked in it and took a steaming shit, then a scorpion crawled in the pod and someone decided to toss some baseball catcher pads in it, and then someone shut the door…. When the door opened… After the metamorphosis, you’d have Sting…. A big piece of smelly shit in scorpion embossed ring attire adorned with catcher pads….. “

And Mike Tenay….. You should be ashamed…. EVERY SINGLE TIME that Sting does not appear in the ring when his entrance music hits, you quickly start wondering aloud “ where could he be? “ …. “ where is Sting? “ ….

Oh, I don’t know… Call me crazy, but he’s probably in the one place where he’s been for the past 10 years, for two different companies…..

IN THE FUCKING RAFTERS!!!!!!!

Which is laughable AND ridiculous in the first place, and always has been…. When the fuck have you ever seen a scorpion in the rafters of anyplace? He’s a scorpion, not a bat or a hoot owl!

He needs to retire and quick sucking TNA dry…. I have the perfect job for him too, to sit back and enjoy his retirement…. He can go to work in the marketing department of the United States Postal Service…. He can do a whole line of commercials…. That go something like this……

" Cut to a scene of Sting, in full wrestling attire, standing outside a Post Office “

“ Hi there, I’m Steve Borden, better known to many as Sting, the professional wrestler and demon slayer for Christ! “

“ You’re probably asking yourself…. “ when did I get so fat? “ …. Long story….. You’re also probably asking yourself “ Why is Sting standing outside a Post Office for? And not in front of a Ryan’s or Golden Corral drooling from the mouth with a wild eyed look of utter frenzy plastered upon his painted face? “ …..

I get it, I’ve gotten fat, ok….OK?! “

“ Anyways, I’m here to remind you guys to do what I’ve been doing the past ten years of my wrestling career….. MAILING IT IN …. Use the Postal Service to send all your packages and letters…. and remember…. When Sting wants to MAIL IT IN, outside the wrestling ring, he always uses the United States Postal Service….. “

- cut to black screen with the USPS logo on it, and suddenly you still hear audio…. “ can someone please tell me where the fuck a sizzler is around this piece?! “ as the phrase “ MAIL IT IN “ is flashed just under the logo…..

That would be a perfect job for Sting….

thebro1869@yahoo.com