To call this a ‘ meeting of the minds ‘ , would be to give that term a backhanded slap and a spit in the face…. However, inquiring minds would like to know what these three were up to….
I will go on the record, IN THIS BLOG, in giving my opinion on what I think this was all about….. There are several options. I will cover them all below….
- Three Stooges Movie Casting…..
This seems the most logical really…. I have heard news that the movie adaptation of ‘ The Three Stooges ‘ had been shelved after Sean Penn and Jim Carrey pulled out of the project. However, I had also heard the studio was looking to recast and move on with the project….
And who better to play Larry, Curly and Moe than these three?!
Yeah, that’s a hard question to answer, huh?!
That’s because this is a no brainer….
And, the story basically writes itself….
I can see the synopsis now….
‘ The three stooges try to start a wrestling promotion. Hijinks ensue as they jeopardize each others pursuit in attaining the goal of running a wrestling show. ‘
They would be cast as follows…. Bert as Curly, Tony as Larry and Mike as Moe….
Or….
Maybe they were coming together with the producers of the sequel to the ‘ A-Team ‘ …… To be cast as some new members in the sequel…
Bert could be the new Hannibal wearing his Hawaiian shirts and chomping on a cigar as he gives orders to his troops….
Tony Falk would be Hawkeye…. Just crazy as shit , making the kookiest ideas work… such as, running a wrestling show In the lobby of a hotel better known as a ‘ crack den ‘ and ‘ whorehouse ‘ …..
And Mike….. Well, he’d be the driver of the creeper van…. I mean, enough said with that….
And together, they’d form and alliance with ‘ Face ‘ , obviously played by Newcomer, Marcus Pastorius, wearing a Vest, of course, to use their unique skills to take out other wrestling promoters in the area…. Preferably starting with H.W.A …..
Hannibal ( Prentice ) would call the fire marshall or local police about whatever promotion they were sabotaging this week, while Hawkeye (Falk) would dress in a disguise and be the promotions ‘ fill in ‘ booker and book all of his talent on another companys show, thus sabotaging them by putting mediocre talent in the ring and Porter ( BA Barracus ) would just sit out in the creeper van and leer creepily at the people going to the show, giving them a sense of uneasiness…. All while Marcus Pastorius hits the ring to be a ring announcer, where he will insult everyone with his verbiage as he ridicules cancer patients, all religious creeds, races, sex, orientation and ages……
And Boom! You got a destroyed company all at the hands of Nashville’s Wrestling A-Team…..
Orrrrrrrrrr
Fill in your best ideas, here ____________________________________
- Chicken Hat gets tackled at an USWO show while trying to ‘ save ‘ the belt….
This story cracks me up…. This is like putting a loaded gun on a table in front of a retard…. Pretty soon, you know the retard is going to pick it up and fire….
And, with Chickenhat always being personally involved in the shows at USWO, this was inevitable….
In his half functioning mind, he thought he was doing the right thing, by getting personally involved in a show, by picking up the belt and trying to give it to Tony….. But, this is also a man who wears a cowboy hat with colorful poultry feathers adorned to it and looks like someone sent a groundskeeper back in time to 1975 to raid Marty Robbins closet…. So, obviously deducing powers are not the prevailing attribute when thinking about Chickenhat…. shitty drawers and body odor – Yes... Making the right decision – Not so much….
It’s all harmless now and everything has calmed down, but if I was Tony, I’d be careful about how much access and involvement I’d let Chickenhat have….. Otherwise…. This happens again, and lets say he gets seriously hurt…. By the end of this year we may have C.H.W.A. replace U.S.W.O – The Chicken Hat Wrestling Alliance….. It would be like Bizarro Superman at the Stadium Inn – Everything backwards…. ChickenHat would be sitting at the door, taking your money, giving you tickets and yelling at Gordon, while Tony Falk danced to Jimmy’s music and sang the National Anthem and then sitting down to mumble incoherently under his breath and yell at the heels….
- Speaking Of Chicken Hat
He was on the ‘ Phoning It In ‘ podcast, with Trent and Larry Goodman and Murder One, in what has to be the funniest interview I’ve ever heard… I highly suggest you go give that a listen….
Some of the highlights of his interview….
- His downright hatred/overbearing sexual tension with Athena comes through loud and clear as he calls her a whore and slut and bitch repeatedly….
He also claims that Athena has been in more motels than a Gideon Bible and that Athena is the only person, that puts ‘ Motel 6 ‘ as her place of residence on an application….
I mean, for a half retard, that’s pretty funny stuff….
His armed forces slogans about Athena are pretty hilarious too and I eagerly await the coming rebuttal by Athena at a show or maybe a phonecall to the podcast soon….
He confirmed the accident story, also confirmed he’s missing half his brain…. Which, I hate to admit, made me laugh my head off, or in this case, half my brain off * cue rim shot *
He has a job, as a busser, for a hotel downtown…. I was wondering the whole time, if they allowed him to wear the hat while he worked…. I hope they do…. Although, I’m sure by doing so, close to 5,000 health code violations were committed…. Then again, just hiring him and having him in a kitchen and around food, violates about 1,000 alone….
He believes wrestling is real….. Which, is sweet in a way…. That made me utter a small ‘ awwwww ‘ when he said that…. It made me want to pat him on the head, then I quickly thought about the dandruff flakes, grease and general creepy crawly creatures that I would have on my hand after I removed it, and maybe a small case of scabies?!
He goes to other wrestling shows, PPV’s and travels a lot…. Meaning he’s independently wealthy…. Which made me go and quickly devise a plan to wear a hat with feathers in it and run around in traffic on gallatin pike….
It was an awesome interview…. Go check it out. The podcast in general is great and should be a weekly listen for all those interested in the Mid Southern Wrestling scene….
- Jeff Daniels claims items were stolen from the USWO lockeroom this past weekend….
He posted on Trent’s bored claiming that someone had stolen stuff from someone else in the USWO lockeroom…. The term ‘ USWO ‘ and ‘ lockeroom ‘, made me snicker, but I digress….
What was stolen?! No one knows, but I have my ideas…
Here is a list of items that I think Jeff was referring to…
1. Talent
2. Talent
3. See numbers 1 and 2….
But, don’t worry Jeff…. Talent wasn’t stolen from that lockerroom, it was never there to begin with… As a whole…
Sure, there are a few that have it in there, but as a whole…. Mehhhhhh
And then there’s the whole Chris Harris issue with the good guys over at www.inyourheadonline.com …..
I’ve listened to their podcast for about a year and have listened to their archives, and they’ve always been nothing but professional with everyone they’ve had on and have always treated the guests with respect…
So, that’s why it was surprising to hear that they had issues with… Chris Harris?!
Chris was supposed to be on the show to do an interview, and Jack E. Jones, the host of the show, had been exchanging emails with Chris to confirm his appearance….
What happens next, is just an avalanche of errors and at the end of it all, it leaves you wondering if maybe Chris Harris had half his brain removed too, alongside ChickenHat….
You really have to go listen to the podcast of that show, to really get a grasp on the weirdness exhibited by Chris Harris through emails…. He tells the host to call him to remind him, and was being cool about the interview…. Then the day it was supposed to take place, Chris Harris starts acting like he has no idea who the guy is…. And keeps repeatedly asking who he is and what radio stations he works for and being adamant about the fact he never had an interview set up…. You know, despite the fact, the host was replying to Chris Harris’ own emails where he could have easily scrolled down to look where the interview was confirmed by himself earlier…..
It all winds up with Chris Harris calling the hosts house, several times, and just hanging up, repeatedly….
It really is a bizarre story and really strange coming from Chris, who I thought was one of the better guys in the business.
Maybe when he went to WWE and became Braden Walker, and delivered that awesome catchphrase of ‘ I’m Braden Walker and I’m gonna knock your brains out ‘ , he tried to punch someone and somehow wound up hitting himself, and knocking his own brains out…. I mean, how else do you explain this strange behavior?!
The topper of it all, was listening to that clown, Jesse Neal, call in to defend Chris Harris and some promoters honor….
He got mad that the hosts were making fun of Harris’ emails, of which they had every right to do, and joking around about some promoter ‘ sitting in his house sucking dick ‘ …..
Neal got so indignant that they were making these claims, because Neal was at the promoters house, that he decided to call in….
At first he did the whole ‘ im a tough wrestler on the phone and I’ll frighten you into crying and backing off with my gruff voice and demeanor ‘ puffing out the chest act, but the boys on inyourhead, just laughed him off… As they should, because Jesse Neal, is a clown and clowns deserve laughter….
First off, getting soooooooooooo mad, that two podcasters are making fun of a promoter and saying that he was ‘ probably ‘ at home ‘ sucking dick ‘ , and you calling in and saying your at his house and being vitriolic about the fact that no sucking of the peen is going on, actually makes you look like you were hoover-ing up some penis, Jesse Neal….
Second of all, Who are you?! Why should I care about anything you say?! You’re a mediocre talent on an incredibly shitty wrestling TV show, and in about 5 years, you’ll be a footnote in the checkbook of TNA, that will be opened by Vince McMahon, when he acquires the company and he’ll be like ‘ who the hell is this jesse neal?! Is he that fat bastard from Dukes of Hazzard?! Dixie Hired him?! ‘ ….
To which one of his assistants will inform him ‘ no sir… he was in a tag team called ‘ ink inc ‘ ‘
‘ I heard you the first time, why repeat it?! ‘
“ sir… that was their name ink inc “
“ goddammit, I said I heard you the first time, why the hell do you keep repeating the name of his tag team!? And why are they called ‘ ink ‘ for? that makes absolutely no sense ‘
“ sir… I’m not repeating…. The name, is ink, as in a pen writes in…. and inc, as in incorporated…. “
“ my god, that may be the absolute gayest thing I’ve ever heard….Quick! bring Pat Patterson in here, STAT! ‘
Pat enters….
“ Pat, tell me that story about you and that Nashville promoter, Bert Prentice, again, hurry! ‘
“ well you see boss…. Me and Bert were at his place, and we were watching ‘ Beaches ‘ under a quilt together, brownies were in the oven, and we had mudmasks on… after ‘ Beaches ‘ finished we decided to watch ‘ Grey’s Anatomy ‘ while eating those wonderfully delicious brownies… we then finished the night by painting each others nails and then retiring to the bedroom where….. “
“ ALRIGHT, get the hell outta here “
“ Sir, what was that all about….?! “
“ Well, you just got through saying the gayest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, with that horrendous and shitty tag team name that Jesse James or whoever was in…. And, I had to actually replace that in my memory bank, with the absolute gayest thing I have ever heard “
END SCENE
Ink Inc…. Isn’t that just cute….
Jesse Neal goes on to berate the hosts, saying they only have three listeners to their show… Which, is hilarious in context, because then…. Why Call to defend your honor in front of three people?!
Then he does the typical ‘ im an offended wrestler and as such, will challenge you to a fight to prove my manliness, grrrrr, see how manly I can be!!! ‘ schtick, by saying he hopes to see them someday out in public, so they can say what they were saying to his face…..
I’ve always found wrestlers funny like this…. It would be hard NOT to laugh in someone’s face, like a wrestler, when they use this line…. Why?! Simple….
It’s stupid…. Of course, if chances were that Jesse Neal met me in public, because of his training and years spent wrestling, he could probably do some damage to me, but what would that prove exactly?! That he wasn’t sucking dick ?! not hardly…. All it would prove was that a trained wrestler, who gets paid to beat up people, beat up an internet writer…. That’s like me challenging a guy in a wheelchair in the 40 yard dash and when I win, gloat in his face…. It proves nothing…. That’s like me going ‘ Man, Jesse Neal, sweet tats bro… cool hair, dude…. I can’t wait to meet you in a chatroom or comment section somewhere, so I can own you with some dastardly verbiage!!!! ‘ …..
I’m surprised Dixie lets clowns like these represent her company, openly, on the airwaves, and especially on an internet wrestling podcast show, one of the biggest in the nation – btw…..
Seems you really wouldn’t want to turn your core audience against your product, by having some curtain jerker come on the air and run down the hosts and internet wrestling fans in general…. You know, TNA’s core audience…. Makes absolutely no sense, which is why it makes perfect sense in TNA Bizarro World….
Speaking of inyourhead…. On their most recent podcast, you can listen to Percy Pringle, aka Paul Bearer, who is always entertaining. But, in the interview, he says that he is going to be doing a BIG show in Nashville on the 26tth of March, anyone have any idea what he’s talking about?!
Mickie James and Victoria have come under fire recently for comments they made on Twitter about WWE…. Mickie commented about the Rock’s return and Victoria commented on Trish Stratus’ return…. Supposedly Dixie or top level management was mad at them for making comments in a positive light about their ‘ competition ‘ …..
This is RICH….
Competition….
Their Competition?!
Don’t you have to beat someone, AT LEAST, once in a blue moon, to be considered competition?! TNA is no competition to WWE and the fact that Dixie and her minions think so, is quite comical and crazy…..
Here’s a list of things that are bigger competitions to their opponents, than TNA is to WWE
- Sobriety Vs. Charlie Sheen
- Moral Decency Vs. Lindsay Lohan
- Sanitary Vs. Stadium Inn
- Middle School Diploma Vs. ChickenHat
- Breaking 100 pounds Vs. Angelina Love
- Being Straight Vs. Bert Prentice
- Dental Hygiene Vs. Nashville Wrestling Fans
You get the picture….
I mean what’s the point?! It’s not like you’re on TV opposite WWE…. Or in any way, shape or form a threat to topple the empire…. So, who cares?! No one who is watching TNA is going ‘ what’s WWE?! Another wrestling organization?! Oh… well, I will be sure to watch that now, and not watch TNA ‘ … NO!
Get over yourselves, TNA, just who do you think you are?!
Email it brotha - thebro1869@yahoo.com
Same old TNA....
ReplyDeletegood article. i agree with the above comment. especially after I read the spoilers for next weeks impact.
ReplyDeletevery funny stuff on the bert mike and tony stuff.
ive started to refer to TNA as bizaro world now
ReplyDelete