I once had a friend, well who am I kidding?! , I still have this friend..
Anyways, he has been on a kick for a few years that Hitler survived World
War II and went with some of his buddies to a bunker in the center of the
earth, to live out his days with a group of humans that live just under the
earth's crust..
I used to laugh at this theory and just brush it off, ask him to pass the
cheese puffs and beer and continue watching and laughing at one of the
cartoons playing on Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network..
Today, I'm convinced he was right..
Why?!
Easy..
I'm pretty certain that Hitler and his cronies are the elusive people
behind the term - ' TNA powers that be '
Everytime I hear that term, I just laugh to myself.. And, after last
night, I guffaw at it...
Yeah, google ' guffaw ' , we all know you are..
Anyways, so everyone knows the story now.. A 28 second main event at a
TNA PPV, which concluded with Sting hitting the COLOSSAL and DESTRUCTIVE
Scorpion Death Drop on Jeff Hardy, then getting the pinfall, while holding
down a wallowing and jerking Jeff Hardy, trying to kick out, which sadly
reminded me of a dying fish out of water flopping about to and fro..
How embarrassing..
Today, I read the reports that the ' TNA powers that be ' decided to
keep Hardy in the main event, despite his obvious intoxication due to
something, and now they have sent him home from the tapings..
What a bunch of clowns..
First off, did TNA not realize that allowing a performer with your
company, in that kind of shape, take to the ring could open themselves up to
many a lawsuit!? I mean what happens if an intoxicated Hardy hits a move on
Sting, that Sting isn't prepared for?! Especially given Sting's age and the
condition his body is in, he could have seriously hurt him or worse.. What
happens if Hardy snaps and tries to attack some fans?! There's a bevy of
potential ramifications that could have come back to haunt TNA, but luckily
for them, they did not..
Or did they?!
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Watching TNA is like hopping in
the Delorean and going back in time with Doc Brown.. It's WCW in it's dying
days..
People buying their PPV's, obviously enjoy torturing themselves, but
after last night, I have to question if they're suicidal ..
You had a first blood match, that ended with fake blood.. You had a
number one contender's match that ended in a No Decision.. And then you had
the Drop of Doom on Hardy..
How can any business person, who runs a company, actually think that
PPV was worth the money that their die hard fans forked out to see this
atrocity?!
The ' TNA powers that be ' .. That's who..
I can see it now..
Hitler sitting around in a cave located deep below earth, surrounded by
a group of rabid monkey's dressed in nazi outfits, shrieking and hopping
around Hitler, who is wearing an old school ' S.E.X. ' shirt, sitting in
front of a phone that has ' TNA ' written on it.. All while all the hydrogen
gas from middle earth is being pumped into the subterranean room, making
them all trip balls on it, making them the envy of anyone named Hardy, trying
to catch a trip off some shit
Everytime the phone rings, it's Dixie on the other end, asking ' the
powers that be ' , what to do..
And Hitler lets her know what he and his rabid monkey's dressed in
nazi outfits, all tripping balls off hydrogen gas, have decided on, using
a carefully thought out and scientific process, where Hitler puts a board
against the wall with different circles of decisions, put in a circular
target form.. Then the monkey's shit their hands, throw it at the target
and whichever answer has the most shit collected in it's targeted region, is the winning answer..
This is the ONLY way to describe the ' powers that be ' and the
shitty decisions they make..
' hey, listen everybody, the global economy is shit.... we produce a
lot of shit, so let's shit all over the fans, due to the monkey shit,
and give the fans the shittiest PPV in recorded history.. This shit will make
ECW's 'December to Dismember' look like Wrestlemania 3... '
That was Dixie's exact pre-PPV speech, btw...
If you work for TNA or involved in any aspect of that company, you
have to be truly embarrassed to be associated with that product today.. I
mean, even more so than usual..
The saddest part about all of this is the blind eye TNA and the hardy circle is turning to all of this. If TNA cared anything about hardy, outside of how much money he can make them, instead of sending him home, they should send him to a rehab facility, with the caveat that if he doesnt go, he is no longer employed by them and his contract is null and void.
Furthermore, Matt Hardy needs to cut the bullshit and admit his brother has some issues and he needs to get them dealt with. Im tired of everyone making fun of these guys who have serious issues, like sheen and hardy, but doing absolutely nothing to help them, only exploiting them for everything they can. Their camps are either fucking mentally retarded or too concerned about where their meal ticket is gonna get punched, to actually throw some hard love down.
Look, im no jeff hardy fan. Never have been. But, the guy when on his game has excellent ability, and its sad to see him go down this path. We are all witnessing an out of control train heading down tracks that lead to nowhere. Is TNA , matt hardy and the people closest to jeff just going to ride the hardy train until the bitter end and and use him for everything he's worth and jump off at the last minute, to watch the final, bitter ending?! Or, is someone going to do the right thing and force him into the treatment he needs. Because, im no nostradamus, but we are witnessing the tragic ending to yet another wrestler. And this one, can be prevented, because there's been too many signs of the impending doom.... Matt, wake the fuck up and get your brother some help. TNA, quit exploiting him and lay down an ultimatum.
As Jeff's tweet said last night.... ' things are op ' ..... no... they're not.... if you can't even spell the word ' ok ' , things are surely not ' ok ' , Jeff, and I hardly think they're even ' op ' ....
- I've watched the last two SAW TV tapings and I haven't really
wrote an in depth blog on it, mainly because I'm usually watching it with my
son and we're both trying to figure out what is going on...
I do have to say, if anyone knows the old man, who was singing the Elvis
songs in the lobby of the Stadium Inn, during the Daniels/Hammerjack brawl,
let me know.. I want to party with that old ass man.. He seems to be the type
of people I would give my left nut to hang with..
That segment was some excellent TV.. And that's written with the utmost
honesty.. I enjoyed every minute of it.. I was shocked to see the rooms of
the Stadium Inn, weren't adorned with velvet pictures of dogs playing pool,
a black and white TV with aluminum foil on the antennae on a bunch of milk
boxes and a fold out, ratty, stained with all sorts of weird liquids, futon
sitting in the corner..
That was always my perception of what the rooms there looked like..
I was a little let down that they didn't end the fight with them battling in
the dungeon bathroom.. They could have had the ' shit monster ' emerge from
the toilet for a run-in and take out one of them, resulting in the other
getting the victory.. All sorts of hilarity could have taken place in that
bathroom..
- no one being able to stand up properly, because of all the piss and shit
coating the floors
- them busting open a stall door and catching ChickenHat crouching
over a toilet, while holding a magazine with Athena on the cover
- having a ref follow them in there while wearing a Hazmat outfit
Eh, I don't know. Just some thoughts..
I really wish they'd stop showing Dyanna Dawnn commercials.. I mean,
we get it.. She gave you guys money.. But, THAT MUCH?! Really?!
There's no amount of money, that would force me to torture my viewers
with that horseshit week after week, if I was a promoter.. One of the lines in
her songs, I've memorized, because they play it, no less than 15 times in
the hour they're on TV, goes ...
' She's a one woman show! ' ..
There's a reason for that.. Because any musician with any shred of
respectability will not be associated with her!!!!! So, of course, she's a
one woman show.. And guess what, her vagina sings the same song too, because
nothing has been close to that thing, but wrinkly old liver spotted fingers,
in the last twenty years...
It's one thing if I find something amusing and laugh my ass off at the
sheer absurdity of it all, but when you add in my son, who is 12, my
daughter who is 8 and certain members of my family who have seen this, and
the first thing out of their mouth, after they close it from being agape in
sheer absurdity, is a hearty, meaty laugh, that lasts for about 20-45
seconds... I have a weird sense of humor, but when everyone is laughing at
something, I pretty much know it's THAT horrible..
I hear that the ' 24 ' movie is being made and that there's a scene
where Jack Bauer is interrogating a suspect and when the suspect doesn't
give up the information in a timely manner, he yells at ' bring in the
secret weapon ' and out pops Dyanna Dawnn, wearing her 1964 prom dress,
signing ' She's a one woman show ' and before she can even utter the next
line, the guy screams out ' ok, here's the info! ' as blood trickles out his
ears and nose...
Michael Graham announcing leaves a lot to be desired.. If Todd Grisham
and Matt Striker had sex with Jim Ross, mid stroke out, Michael Graham
would be their hideously atrocious baby..
Replace him with ChickenHat..
Some dude was wrestling on TV Saturday night, who was billed as a
scouting coordinator for the Colorado Rockies.. Which, is funny, because he
couldn't evaluate his own talents, obviously, when it comes to wrestling
ability.. Didn't like.. Shouldn't have watched..
Anytime Jesse Emerson touches a mic, I often wonder if his mouth emits
chloroform, because I immediately clock out of consciousness.. So boring..
Eh, my lunchtime is up at work.. Email it, if you want..
Thebro1869@yahoo.com
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