Tribute to the Fairgrounds Review

That picture is the perfect encapsulation of the magic of Kid Kash unleashed upon the Fairgrounds Sports Arena, this weekend.... That kid had the wrong finger up on both hands at first, in response to Kash, and his mother grabbed his hands and pulled them down... ' she's gonna smack them! ' I thought.... No... She only did what any reasonable person would do in this situation.... She showed him how to properly shoot the double bird.... #parentalsupervision!




Walking into the fairgrounds, I was greeted with that thick, musty, meaty aroma that I have loved to sniff in the air for years and years at the fairgrounds sports arena…. It was the familiar whiff of rotten asshole , old spice, unkempt and unsanitary vagina and smegma.....

Ah yes, it was good to be back at the Mecca, for a wrestling event…. A place where you don’t know if you’re going to see wrestling or if you’re standing in the middle of a convention of people who somehow escaped a late term abortion misshap….

A place where Chris Hansen could literally fill up three years worth of seasons for ‘ Dateline : To Catch a Predator ‘ …..

And a place where Wrestling should continue to be held at in Nashville….

Nothing beats the charm of the Fairgrounds sports arena…. Sure, we may all develop black lung or lung cancer from the asbestos coating the roof, but would any of us change it?!

No…..

We may all have our DNA permanently altered to where generation after generation of our family bloodlines after this will produce babies wearing gold necklaces, have hair that looks like marine animals should be rescued from, sport back acne that looks like a range of volcanic mountains and have faces that look like they should be contained in some circus owners formaldehyde filled glass jar, but would we change it?!

No…..

What I would change?!

Buying a VIP ticket to the event….

Sure, we got ringside reserved seats, and sure we got to meet the ‘ legends ‘ , but the only legend I wanted to meet – Jerry Lawler – and mainly it was only to get my kids the autograph, left before we even got to his table…. IF he was even there at all before the show….

Once being let into the arena, there was really no direction as to what line we should stand in to get autographs, so I just chose the longest line available and inched my way forward…..

After getting close, I saw that the line would actually take you all the way through a line of legends…. Starting with the biggest one of all * insert eye rolls here * Brian Christopher….

Brian Christopher has always just made me nervous…. Like, being within a 200 foot radius of the man, makes me get the nervous nellies…. He’s so over the top and ridiculous with his erratic hand motions and shouting, that one has to wonder if he was conceived after Jerry Lawler snorted a bag, of what he believed to be cocaine, but in fact was really just laundry detergent, dandruff and parmesan cheese…..

And this night was no different…. Yelling outloud and moving around like he was strapped to some electric body wrap that had some crazed madman shocking him sporadically while he was standing there….

I got to his table and he looked at me and I looked at him, and quickly I diverted my eyes to avoid confrontation…. But, he asked me if I wanted an autograph, I said ‘ no ‘ and it was like I somehow was in a torrid love affair with the guy and I just broke his heart by ending our relationship… He looked truly devastated…. But, why would I want this clowns autograph?! I have serious doubts he could even sign his name…. It would probably look something like this

‘ X ‘

So, anyways, after that, I looked down the legends row and decided to split, because there was no Lawler to be found…..

I’m pretty sure Rocky Johnson was charging for autographs, but don’t quote me on that, but if he was, that was exceptionally bad form, since we paid extra for this and on top of being The Rock’s dad and maybe be mistaken sometimes for the badass dude in ‘ From Dusk to Dawn ‘ , who wants his autograph?!

But, I digress….

We took our seats and awaited the special pre-show matches….

First off, who was the ref for the Tony Falk vs. David Matthews match?! I’ve seen that guy somewhere and I’m pretty sure he used to carry around a replica championship belt to shows, and we all know my stance on grown men carrying around those things…. But, why was he a ref?! He was absolutely atrocious…. He literally looked like the promoters were informed that another ref, who weighed near 400 pounds was no showing, so they went out to the projects 500 feet away, and offered some hustler on the street money to referee a few matches….IN THAT DUDES CLOTHES.... They were all hanging haphazardly off his person looking like some kid getting into his parents closet...

His face, looked like someone set an ape’s ass on fire and put it out with battery acid…. I mean, I know he’s a ref and all, but he really detracted from the match, with his disheveled and unprofessional appearance…. And his goofy grins to the wrestlers, because A. he’s a mark for them or B. There is no B, he’s a mark….

Anyways

We got the Wildboys Vs. Kevin and Cody Weatherby…..

Wildboys won…. It was like a battle for camo pants supremacy…. The Wildboys were wearing regular camo and the Weatherby’s were wearing New Jack – like camo shorts….. IT’S A CAMO PANT BATTLE TO THE DEATHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! The wildboys looked like someone came to my family’s Christmas get together, asked two uncles that no one really knows ‘ hey, you wanna wrestle?! ‘ and then put them in the ring…. The only thing ‘ wild ‘ about these * ahem * 40+ year old boys, were their helmettullets….. They won, somehow, don’t really remember…. The Weatherby’s were decent, but looked like the typical juvenile delinquents who have only been fed a sammich and water in prison for some illicit underage behavior, who then get released and want to wrestle…. They could both fit inside their father, TJ, and it would be like some East Nashville German Nesting Doll….

Tony Falk Vs. David Matthews

David Matthews with his best Faron Foxx impersonation, but really, there’s only one Faron Foxx and this guy was decent, but nowhere near as good as the legend…. I don’t know why these two were fighting, but I’m guessing it has to do with Tony being pissed about his gimmick being stolen?! Tony won and hundreds of vaginas lost… drying up quicker than a puddle in the desert when the ref showed his face to the crowd… Good Lord….

Now, onto the main show…. Since, everyone has read the reviews, I’ll just give my likes and dislikes of the show… Everyone knows who won and shit , so we’ll make this pretty simple….

Likes ----

- Kid Kash – It’s hard to not like him, even if you hate him…. During his heel opening where he antagonizes the crowd, I turned to my cousin and said ‘ well, that was worth my 14 dollars alone ‘….

Some of the highlights include the old blue hair in the front row who objected to Kash calling her a ‘ bitch ‘ over and over and decided to try to find her way into the ring, by going to various entry points…. Kash calling a rather obese man out, in front of his wife and kid, which led to the kid shooting the double bird, as pointed out in the picture above…. Kash stealing some 15 year old Future Thug of America’s hat, who then tried to hit him, so Kash took the hat, wiped his ass with it and threw it back to the kid, who did what any of us would do at that moment, and put it back on his head….. WTF?!

The dude gets what it takes to be a true heel, which hasn’t really been seen in that arena since The New South…. And they were a tag team… This is one man, who literally almost enticed a riot ringside with a few fans wanting his blood on their hands….. I don’t think the smile on my face ever left.... It was like being in wrestling heaven watching this shit.... The New South, The ECW Dudleys and Kid Kash…. Those three, in my viewing experience, have been the three that have OWNED the heel personification…..

The match was awesome to boot, which it didn’t even have to be at this point…. Chris Michaels won it, but you had such a good time watching the psychology of a heel and face work a crowd, that it didn’t really matter…. I don’t know whose in charge of hiring at TNA and WWE, but why Kash doesn’t have a roster spot, is really beyond justification….

- Hammerjack vs. Lonestar

This was an awesome match and honestly, if SAW promised I’d get a rematch of this match again, if I were to give up masturbation , beer and tits , I might consider it…..

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding…. I would never give that shit up, but this match was outstanding, and this comes from a guy who has never really liked Lonestar or Cowboy gimmicks in wrestling

- Jesse Fields

The dude ripped me one time for a bad review I wrote on a SAW show, so saying this obviously comes from 100 percent truth, but the guy does add a certain level of authenticity to a match as a ref….

After seeing soooo many guys ref matches in this area who look like they should be on the cover of that mugshot newspaper that are laying out on the counter of Tigermarts in Nashville or refs who faces look like they were strapped to the bottom of shoes which were worn by people walking over landmines or faces that looked they were used as a shield during a meth trailer explosion, it was good to see a guy who looked professional and sold big moves and put over the talent the way a ref is supposed to do….

So, hats off to you, oh bespeckled one…. You did a fine job….

- David Young and Athena and The Maddox Brothers

It was good seeing these two again AND being used together…. Did anyone else get the sense that Athena looked EXACTLY like Baroness from G.I. Joe, with the outfit she wore?!

The only sad thing was Chickenhat was sitting too far away from the ring to see their exchanges…. Call me crazy, but I can detect a little sexually charged tension between the two when they get into their heated shouting matches…. Goodwill Sweaters that smell like mothballs, stonewashed jeans stolen from Zach Morris’ closet and underwear with shit caked in it, can prove to be a powerful attraction elixir to the ladies….

David Young is still a badass …. Butttttttt, hello?! Dextrim?! Hydoxycut?! Brother, could use a bottle or 400….. What’s in that thing that resembles but not really, a stomach?! I always love what they find in sharks stomachs when they catch them and cut them open, and I was thinking about that while watching David Young, if they were to cut him open, what would spill out?!

A few newborn babies?!…. Bert Prentice?! A small Labrador Retriever?! Tires?! A small block engine for a Lincoln Continental?!

Mysteries abound….

The Maddox Brothers were pretty awesome…. They remind me of… Well….. The unfat and undrugged up Hardy Boys…..

- Arrick Andrews and Eric Young

The battle of the men with first names of ‘ Eric ‘ to determine the proper spelling, once and for allllllllllllllllllllll….

Arrick Andrews cut a good heel promo to bring out a jobber who he tossed over, and then asking if that was the best Nashville had to offer, out came Eric Young, who got a pretty massive face pop….

He’s fun to watch and the two put on a good opening match that got the crowd jacked up….

This was like when I call your old ladies and speak in my husky, guttural voice and tell them what I have planned in store for them later….

Dislikes –

- Brian Christopher ….. I’m pretty sure that Lawler had the bible edited to remove the part where one of the plague’s upon Egypt was the birth of Brian Christopher….

How he was EVER as big as he was, is something I need a zombie Robert Stack to host an ‘ Unsolved Mysteries ‘ about….

He should be the poster child for people who want to legalize late term abortions … They could picket outside a courthouse with his picture on a huge posterboard that would simply say ‘ just sayin’….. give it the old think twice ‘ ….

At the end of his match, he pulled a bunch of kids into the ring with him and I was thinking the whole time Chris Hansen was going to do a run in with a couple of chat transcripts, tell Brian Christopher to ‘ have a seat over there for me ‘ ….. And then watch as Christopher bolts from the ring and gets tackled to the ground by 5 police officers while crying and shouting ‘ we wuz jus gone talk! ‘

Meanwhile Mike Porter drives by in a GMC conversion van, sees the ruckus in the ring and squeals out of the parking lot screaming ; get me da fuck away from here! ‘

- The Marcus Pasteurization Promo

I know Marcus has apologized to people for saying what he did and it’s been commented on a few thousand times, but I still didn’t like it and I’m going to write about it….

I don’t have a problem with cussing at wrestling shows…. I think it adds an air of authenticity to the proceedings, but when a promo is being made about Make A Wish kids, and you drop the F bomb and the GD bomb, it’s a little classless…. I mean, Jerry Lewis is batshit crazy and sauced on TV during his telethons and he never drops the bombs this guy was….

But, maybe we’re just all in the dark here…. Maybe, as Doug from The Heel Section suggested, it was some sick kids wish to hear a wrestling promoter say fuck and goddamn in a ring…. I mean, I guess we don’t really know…. Although, I’d try to shoot my sights a little higher with my wish….

My best guess, and I have no information to back this up, so it’s all speculation…. He might have a had a few shots to celebrate the achievement of having a good crowd there and when he hit the ring, old liquid satan took over and spoke for him…. We’ve all been there…. Me, at my high school graduation, getting on stage and apologizing, telling my 6^th grade teacher that I used to masturbate to her in class by taking my arm out of my jacket sleeve and going to town of the beef stick in the back of the class…. It wasn’t my shining moment either…. But, alcohol has a way of bringing out the best in people….

My only suggestion for Marcus Pasteurization the next time he runs a show is to not drop the bombs around sick kids and don’t come out to entrance music from ‘ Daredevil ‘ … I mean, did you see the movie?! Oh, and drop the vest thing…. I seriously think that the vest made people boo…. Noone likes a man wearing a vest…. It makes him look pompous…. It’s why The Miz wears a vest…. Instant Heat….. Vests and Monocles….

- Bill Dundee – He looked like Jack LaLanne’s black sheep, glue sniffing brother…. Lawler had to carry the match, which is something that should never happen….. But then afterwards….. Dundee cut a promo that could make most psychopaths scratch their head and go ‘ dude has issues ‘ …. One minute he’s thinking the fans for coming out, then he turns around and starts going off about how they couldn’t come watch TNA and that’s why they’re gone…. Then, he had the audacity… THE SHEER AUDACITY to sully the good reputable name of my MILF, Dixie Carter…. WTF?! Suggesting that A Jarrett has put the beef between her buns ….. I would literally fight this man after that egregious assault upon the character of such a beautiful lady…..

I think he got Jarrett mixed up with The Bro, easy mistake to make….

Watching Dundee ramble about nonsense on the mic after the match reminded me of this clip from The Tom Green show, years ago….

They would probably understand each other perfectly....

I was waiting for him to start going ‘ I DON’T EAT CHILDREN! ‘

It was just so out there….

- The entrance music is close to being inaudible…. I don’t know if this was because of the speakers or equipment…. But I had to strain my ears like I would trying to hear a cricket fart several times, just to hear the song…. .

Overall though, it was a good show, and definitely worth the 14 bones placed down for a ticket…. Great crowd on hand and like I said, The Kash vs. Michaels match was the absolutely stealer of the show…. I just hope they got rewarded handsomely for that, because that was one of the better matches that this area has seen in quite some time….

Alright….. Here’s the part where we play our little game…. Last time we did this, Nicholas Maglio was the proud winner of a Terry Funk WWE Legends card, which included a more cherishable treasure included with it – a hand written note from The Bro…..

So, who will be the lucky winner this time?!

Whoever leaves a comment at the bottom with the proper definition for the word ‘ smegma ‘ , will win a Kamala ' National Heroes ' WWE card and I will throw in a bonus mystery card as well….

Questions, Comments, Hook Up proposals?! Email me – thebro1869@yahoo.com

My Birthday Letter To Russo

Dearest God….. Errrrrr …..

Dearest Hero….. Errrrrr…..

Dearest Sexiest Man Alive…. Errrrrrr……* nervous chuckle * Whaaaaa?!

Dearest Vince Russo….

First, let me start off this letter by first apologizing for it being belated in its sending. In between the countless numbers of hot vag I squeashed this week and the general duties of being an Internet Wrestling Writer Messiah, I just now got to look at a Calendar…. And, wonders upon wonders, it was your 50^th birthday this week…..

So, for a Wrestling Deity such as yourself, I won’t regale you with ‘ Happy Birthday ‘ , because let’s face it, that’s as worn and as played out as Bob Ryder’s O-Ring ….. So, for this special occasion….

I want to regale my master with a story, if it so pleases you my Lord….

Through the schmoozing and friendship and pounding the vag of a TNA Employee, while TNA was in Nashville, I was once presented with a T Shirt…. But, not just any old tshirt, no…. That’s not befitting of such nobility as myself…. This TShirt was a S.E.X. TShirt….. Also located on the TShirt was a signature…. Upon being urged to examine said signature, I could see that it said ‘ Vince Russo ‘ , your name, my Lord!

Of all the possessions in the land, this was the most prized…. I put it up in safe keeping next to my other prized possessions ( albeit less worthy than your Tshirt ) ….. You also personally signed it, to me…. It said ‘ To Bro, Vince Russo ‘ ….. I’m sure you remember this as clear as yesterday. When Nobility meets Nobility, it is a worthy occasion of rememberance…..

One day, when my live in girlfriend/fiance was cleaning the house, she found the Tshirt…. Having eyes of a 90 year old street wench in heat, she couldn’t make out the signature…. But, she could make out ‘ The Bro ‘ ….. A little thing called ‘ the internet ‘ was around.. Also a site called ‘ the google ‘, as my mother would like to have it called….

A little tippy typing on the ol’ keyboard produced several results for ‘ the bro ‘ …. Most having to do with a homosexual porn actor…. Go figure…. Anyways, she found the site of which I was the owner… The site that started me as the Internet Wrestling Messiah….. After about three hours of ‘ research ‘ on my various stories and ridiculous prose, I was confronted….

She called the site ‘ garbage ‘ , my writing was ‘ juvenile ‘ and that I was ‘ stupid ‘ to write about my ‘ exploits ‘ with women….. Which, let’s face it… These exploits were usually made up stories in the dark recesses of my alcohol and glue sniffing diseased brain….. There were a few select true stories in there, but hey, mysteries are fun, so we won’t be divulging which ones were true, right?!

But, I still have my penis intact, so that rules out the April Pennington story….. You feel me?!

Anyways, this was the match that led to the fire that dissolved our relationship…. She went on to claim that ‘ Vickie Russo ‘ was a ‘ slut ‘ and a ‘ whore ‘ , because what woman would give a man a shirt with the word ‘ S.E.X. ‘ on it….

We went our separate ways and I just wanted to relate to you the story of how you crushed my entire relationship with one simple signature on one simple TShirt….

But, I’m not bitter…. Not by a long shot… In fact, I just want to write you this letter, to thank you….

You see, you saved me years and years of heartache, bitchiness and general all around penis neglect.....

Being the God that you are, you must have seen this happening in the future and thus put a plan in place, to save the future ( and now present ) Internet Wrestling Writer Messiah….. So, thanks…..

She’s gotten super fat over the years and even more of a mean ass ….. and you saved me from that….

One little signature on one little shirt….. The whole internet world, rejoices…..

I can now do what I want, when I want…. If I wanna pop in a Wrestling PPV, crack a beer open and sit around in my boxers all day, I can now do that, free and clear of her coming in and going ‘ I’m not watching that gay wrestling…. We have to go to Michaels and The Home Depot and We have family pictures at The Olan Mills Studios in Sears at 3 ‘ ….. To this, I thank you….

I can walk around my place in a robe at all hours without having someone go ‘ Ugh, you need to change, I have Becky, Lisa and Britney coming over in 30 minutes, DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!!!! ‘….. To this, I thank you….

I can go to a wrestling event without having to hear ‘ I don’t know why you go to those gay things, they’re so fake and stupid and you act like you’re soooooooo important and special….. ‘ .. To this, I thank you….

I can now have a room where I can put all my wrestling, comic and movie action figures without her going ‘ one day when you’re at work, I’m gonna sell them all on ebay and then use the money to buy a china cabinet to showcase my plate collection, a real collection, not a bunch of dolls ‘ ….. Hello?! Whaaaaa?!.... To this, I thank you

I can now write juvenile and inane wrestling blogs without thinking to myself ‘ is she going to get mad if she reads this, omg, what?! ‘ ….. To this, I thank you

I can now sit down with my kids and let them watch wrestling and have them love it and follow it more closely than I do, without hearing her go ‘ That’s only going to make them stupid…. Like you…. And all your gay wrestling buddies ‘ ….. To this, I thank you….

You saved me brother…. And for that, I will forever be even more in your debt than I was before…..

It even , ALMOST, makes me forgive you for making that CHOAD, Jeremy Borash famous…..

I said, Almost….. A man, does have his limits….

So, while others wished you a happy birthday, which I’m sure a Wrestling God, like yourself, was going to be having anyways, I thought I’d share a story about how you saved me from years of oppressive torture and certain penis doom…..

So, treat this story as a coupon…… anytime you want a free 12 bagger of sliders and a six-er of beer, just let me know…. It’s on me…. You’re a man of the cloth now, so I don’t know if you partake in the imbibing of libations, but if you don’t, I have a warm gullet for it, and I’ll buy you some Zima’s, so you can look manly, like me…..

For all of those holding off purchasing tickets to the Fairgrounds show featuring Jerry Lawler, wondering if I’m going to be in attendance, thus sealing the deal on your ticket purchases. I’m here to inform you, that I will be there…. Ringside…. So, you can now safely purchase those tickets with the knowledge that not only will you get to see a true Legend and God of Wrestling in the arena that night, but you’ll also get to see Jerry Lawler too….

Thebro1869@yahoo.com

Jeff Jarrett's List O' Truths

In lieu of Jeff Jarrett's claim that ' TNA was/has been profitable ', I decided to contact the interviewer to see if Jarrett had any proof to these claims or strong facts to back them up.... They informed me that Jeff Jarrett had left behind a sheet of paper with a list of ' Truths ' on them, according to Jeff Jarrett....

I present to you, the paper in question....

Judge for yourself if Jarrett's statement has merit, compared to the other ' truths ' on this list....

Just click the pic to read the list in its entirety

Gulas Memorial Show Review

Remember that saying ' Quantity over Quality ' ?! Yeah..... I don't either....

However, I do remember the saying ' Quality over Quantity ' .... It's a saying I use when I brag about the girls I've banged, the beers I drink and the blog posts I make....

It's also a saying I would, in no way, associate with the Gulas Old School Wrestling Show, Saturday Night....

First, let me say, the show lasted 5 hours..... 5 HOURS..... And it started at 7:50..... Do the math....

There are few things in this world that are enjoyable for 5 hours.... In fact, I really can't think of ONE, unless maybe it's a ' 24 ' marathon or maybe Wrestlemania Sunday that is devoted to watching old Wrestlemania's and drinking beer up until it starts.... I brought this up to my cousin.... He was like ' Not even getting a blowjob for five hours?! ' ...... Even getting a BeeeeJayyyyy for 5 hours..... After awhile, it would begin to hurt and then the girls lips would chaffe and probably bleed on your peen making it disgusting, then your peen would shrivel up and look like a 2 day old hot dog that has sat in a pan of cold water.... it would just be horrendous in the long run....

I'm not going to sit here and bullshit you and be like ' oh this was a great match!!! ' or ' this guy put on one hell of a performance ' , because in between getting redneck DNA rubbed into my pores, from passing trailer mongoloids and the shooting pain in my feet, from standing 4+ hours on concrete, I was losing all ability to actually watch anything....

HOWEVER, as your internet wrestling writer messiah, I will put up a review, giving you my highlights and lowlights and general thoughts on the show.... I'm soooo your hero right now... I know, I know...

LOWLIGHTS

1. Seating..... Or lack thereof.... I understand this is partially my fault, as I waited until I got to the door to buy tickets.... And, I purchased tickets under the disclaimer of ' standing room only '.... However, they didn't inform me that while standing I would be rubbed up on by some hideous mongoloid creatures from planet Redneckatron.... Seriously, is it a pre-requisite in Lavergne, that if you attend a wrestling show, you must first wash your hair in pure grease, preferably left over from the pan you cooked the roadkill in for dinner before you came?! Men, women and children.... A lot of these * ahem * people * ahem * had greasy hair, so bad, that some of the animals stuck in oil spills are like ' dude..... wash that hair..... damn! ' .... And these people were all rubbing up on me and coughing on me and sneezing and sullying my Greek God - like body....

On top of that, people brought newborn babies in there, some of which, I'm sure still had placenta juice on them and couldn't hold their heads upright by themselves, all being jostled around by some overweight woman in clothes she probably stole from Reba McEntire's closet in 1988, while screaming out ' motherfucker ' ... ' asshole ' and ' fuckface ' , to some wrestler.... You know, the typical All American Motherly behavior....

There was no walkway really for people to go from one area to the next, so they just bumped into you and muscled their way past you.... And, I felt bad for Misty James, who had her gimmick table up, but because the ' standing room only ' section was poorly managed, everyone just stodd in front of her table, really giving her very little chance to push her stuff. Although, at the end of the night, I think she did pretty well....

2. Parking .... I know HWA isn't used to the crowd they had last night, but not having a plan for where to park a large amount of cars, was an absolute atrocity, given the amount of publicity this show has gotten here locally this week.... To call the parking situation - ' dumpster fire filled with dirty diapers ' - would actually be a compliment.... At first, people were told to park on the road.... Then when the cops came and informed people they were going to be towed, we were told ' park wherever you can ' ... even though, with those wonderfully detailed instructions, it left little parking space.... Finally, I found a parking space, by parking in the grass of some business that was closed for the night.... Throughout the night, Gordon and others had to get over the P.A. system to tell people to move their cars, or they were going to be towed.... And then quickly afterwards going ' buy a program for tonights show to commemorate this legendary night!!!! '... I laughed when I thought ' well, you could do that, or just frame your parking ticket and towing bill to commemorate this night too... as well as your tetanus shot and satisfactory bill of health from the CDC after being dry humped by so many 'neck creatures in attendance ' .....

3. HWA .... Having HWA go in the middle, between SAW and Gulas OSW was like going to see ' Schindlers List ' in the theater and having to watch a preview for a documentary extolling the sensitive side of Adolf Hitler, during an intermission..... It's like paying for two seminars entitled ' how to be the man your wife always wanted ' and ' the judicial system IS perfect ' and having to sit through a lunch Q & A with OJ Simpson.... It's like making out with a hot chick, and then while you're walking to her bedroom, she wants to talk to you about the renovations she made on her house.....

I would say that HWA is a step above backyard wrestling, but that may be a high compliment for the product.... It might suit it well to be referred to as ' a broken bottom step on a full set of stairs above backyard wrestling '.... you know, it's the bottom step, and it's broken, but it's got just enough support to get you to the second step ( S.A.W. ) and to keep you from stepping in the shit on the ground ( Backyard Wrestling ) ..... Half the guys looked like they just got done having their nuts cupped and coughing for a doctor, after their first physical and would scratch their head and look at you with a quizzed expression when you asked them what a ' gym ' was.... Look, I don't ask for much..... Just please, if you're a wrestler, look like you can beat me up, AT LEAST....

I felt bad for Jackie and Don Fargo.... They kept being billed as ' the guys that paved the road for wrestling today' .... And, after seeing the H.W.A. product, I'm wondering if they're like... ' we paved the road for this shit?! please.... somebody get a demolition expert on the phone, because we're blowing THE FUCK, outta this road ' ..... Or, it could be like those signs on the highway that say ' sponsor this stretch of road ' and the ' Nashville Wrestling Highway ' was once sponsored by Jackie and Don Fargo, but after seeing that horseshit, they quickly pulled sponsorship and now there's a sign that says ' The Farron Foxx/Mike Rapada/Shane Eden Nashville Wrestling Highway ' .....

4. Girls Match .... You ever seen ' Faces of Death ' or something like it?! You know, those movies that purport to show REAL LIFE deaths as they happen, captured on film?! Yeah, save your money and just go to one of these girls matches sponsored by H.W.A. ..... Sooner or later, someone is going to seriously get hurt.... Somewhere Jackie Gayda is sitting back, looking at Charlie Haas and going ' I wasn't THE WORST womens wrestler ever, was I?! ' and He'll push her head back down into his lap, to shut her up, and turn the station on the TV, until the satellite, picks up The Gulas Memorial Show to watch the girls match on the card and he'll sit up and go ' Jackie, Jesus Christ!!! ' ... She'll sit up and wipe her mouth off, then go ' I know, I'm really good at that tho, right?! ' .... And he'll get a disgusted look on his face and go ' no, you dumb bitch, look...... you really aren't the worst womens wrestler EVER!!! They're located on this show.... The Gulas Memorial Show.... '

The one girl, I can say that honestly was a good worker, was Jessie Belle, but I might have been hypnotized by her ass... HOLY MOLY... It was like two little basketballs down there being bounced.... But, she had charisma and knew how to work the crowd.... And, attempted to wrestle with the others.... Mickie Knuckles, cracked me up, only because my cousin, leans over and goes ' more like Mickie Cankles... ' Yeah, I giggled like a schoolgirl over that for a minute or two....

4. Wrestlers Mingling in the Crowd ..... Maybe I'm just old, but I hate when a wrestler comes through the crowd to either go to the concession stand or use a bathroom.... I mean, if there was no bathroom backstage at HWA, than that's just shitty on HWA's part.... I mean, either rope off a bathroom and throw a curtain over it or buy a port-a-pottie.... But, it was a never ending stream, all night long, of wrestlers, running out of the stage area, down the ramp and to the bathroom or refs doing the same and going to the concession stand.... Most of us know what's behind the curtain.... We know wrestling is scripted... But, that doesn't mean, that when we go, we have to have that thrown in our face.... Wrestlers should NEVER be in the crowd, not in gimmick..... It just takes away from the show.... You know, more than seeing Clones of my Dad wrestling for H.W.A. .....

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Shane Williams.... What can I say, that hasn't already been said about the guy?! If new school wrestling and old school wrestling, both went to the same bar and had a few drinks and Barry Manilow was playing overhead and they caught each others eyes, then they started flirting, which led to a passionate love making session in the bar's bathroom.... Shane William's would be the offspring of that.... He resonates with the old and young.... they either love him or hate him, there's really no in between, there's no non reaction from most and he just gets ' IT ' ..... His segment with the legends, where he tried to pass himself off as Jerry Lawler to them, was pretty priceless and at the end of the night, he was still selling the punch Fargo gave him as he made his way to the ring for his match....

2. Shawn Hoodrich..... I've liked this guy since I saw him at USWO in the summer.... He's got new attire and he has obviously been hitting the gym, as his physique has gotten pretty impressive. I like to see this.... This means he's taking it seriously and putting in the work necessary to be something in the business. However, I wouldn't mind him busting out the airbrushed cat eyes on his trunks again for old times sake.... He's an overseller of massive proportions, but it's entertaining and I'd rather someone oversell than not sell at all.... It's the way I like my ladies.... Just go over the top when you're faking, because that no reaction bullshit, will not get me to return... Hope all you fine ladies, just took notes on that....

3. Arrick Andrews / Shane Williams Segment... Enjoyed the attack of Andrews on Williams.... Especially after the fireball incident. Andrews looked truly pissed at Shane and needed no mic to be heard audibly above the crowd. Williams crawling up the ramp after the attack, smiling like a true shit heel and laughing was the perfect ending to it and a buildup to the confrontation soon coming.... I told my cousin, if I had a nickel for every ringrat in Tennessee that has pleasured themselves to Arrick Andrews, I would have 365 dollars.... precisely the amount I'd need to buy myself a hearing aid, due to my eardrum exploding from the shrills and shrieks emanating from the crowd when they recognize him....

4. Rick Santel/Roxy Rossi.... They worked together great at ringside.... Rossi distracting the ref, with her harry potter good looks.... they're magical.... led to Santel shooting water into Ryan Genesis' eyes, leading to Emerson getting the 1.2.3 ..... Roxy Rossi was in the crowd before the show, trying to get to the bathroom and I was trying to get over in her way, so she would have no choice but to rub up on me as she passed.... Unfortunately, some STEAK and SHAKE looking troll rubbed up on me, blocking my path.... As I looked down at the behemoth of sweat and grease wearing what looked to be flower curtains and sweat pants and had back neck moles that looked like someone sandbasted her with a pack of goobers, I saw Roxy walking away, I shoved my fist to the heavens and screamed out ' WHYYYYYY?! ' .....

5. Dominique winning the The Queen of Gulas OSW..... This was awesome. She came down during the end of the match, stole a pin with Jeff Daniels at her side and won the title..... Which, i'm sure, as seen by his award to the fargos and gypsy joe, is just a piece of paper that says ' queen of my OSW ' ..... But, still, it was a good ending to a pretty terrible match....

6. Womens Dog Collar Match ..... In my opinion, girls are good for a few things....

1. beejayssss
2. making sammiches
3. making babies
4. cleaning house
5. making lingerie relevant
6. dog collar matches

Jessie Belle and Mickie Cankles were pretty awesome in this match, which led me to wonder how the 4 way match earlier wasn't any good..... And, don't worry Jessie... You may not have won the ' Queen of Gulas OSW ' title, but I'll print you off a certificate for ' Bro's Best Ass Ever ' .... Trust me, it's just as good and coming from an Adonis like me, it's invaluable for those equipped with a vagina....

Some quick notes....

- Gordon needs to learn to enunciate better on the mic.... I went through the whole night laughing and thinking some dude was named ' MAN TOAD ' .... I was like ' that's the best name ever '.... Then I get home and see the guys name was' Demento ' ... It took all the fun out of it, and he wasn't cooler any longer, thanks to Gordon's mic skills, which are on the level of a 5th grade student performing a school play of ' Huckleberry Finn ' .... I love Gordon, he is a Nashville stalwart ( I have a free Terry Funk WWE 2010 Legends Card for the first person to correctly send me @ the bro1869@yahoo.com , the definition to the world ' stalwart ' ) but someone needs to tell him he a. doesn't have to shout on the mic, it amplify's your voice and b. you don't have to actually stick it in your mouth while talking.... Other than that, Gordon is awesome... I just like the name.... And want him to hand out fishsticks to fans in a yellow rainslicker..... And, yes... I know it's Gorton's and not Gordon's, but it's all about, say it with me... ENUNCIATION...

See how I tied that together?! That's why I'm The Bro and you're reading this ;)

- They were serving ' Big Pickles ' at the concession stand.... I had to quickly grab my crotch to make sure my peen was still there... I thought they were selling it for the ladies to eat.... Luckily ladies, it's still there.... And, trust me, it's selling for more than the 1.00 listing price for HWA big pickles....

- I love gimmick tables.... I just do.... It's the best of both world for me.... I die and go to White Trash heaven everytime I see them.... It's a combination people can't walk away from... It combines wrestling and flea markets together in one area.... I mean, people talk about dead birds falling from the sky, as the start to the end of the world.... I say the end of the world will happen when gimmick tables and wrestling events merge together at a fanny pack/airbrushed attire convention and the white trash awesomeness will be too much for the world to take and a black hole will start and suck the earth in it....

- Gulas saying ' don't believe the rumors, we're all here for the love of wrestling and we have no problems working together ', in reference to the three promotions, is almost as believable as this classic scene.



- The refs at HWA looked like they were all recruited from a circus sideshow act, that was fired, for being too goddamn scary looking for kids, so HWA decided to give them a job as referees.... One was a midget, one looked like he ate metal sammiches due to his JACKED UP TEEF and the other one looked like his face was used as a blasting shield for FBI agents going into meth trailers.... That was mean, but hey, you expect that from me.... I'm sure they're all fine people though.... Just kinda funny that all those people came together in the same profession for the same company.... It's like a band of retired hitmen all working at Best Buy selling TV's, who somehow figure out they were all hitmen one day.... Only these guys were kept in cages on a circus sideshow who wound up referee independent wrestling....
My cousin thought it was peculiar that a ‘ Gulas Memorial ‘ show would be held in a shanty in Lavergne….. I pondered this for a minute and he actually had a point…. My cousin is a man of little words, but when he speaks, they’re poignant….

Having a Gulas Memorial Show in a Shanty in Lavergne is like having an Elvis Memorial Concert at the ‘ Caribbean Lounge ‘, located in the downstairs portion of the ‘ Seaside Inn ‘ on Dickerson Road….

Having a Gulas Memorial Show in a shanty in Lavergne is like shouting ‘ I want some authentic Italian food!!!! ‘ and then going to Fazoli’s….

Having a Gulas Memorial Show in a shanty in Lavergne is like saying you want to read an informative review on the Gulas Memorial Show, and then coming to my site….

I will say that most of the staff for HWA were helpful and nice and helped make the experience tolerable, despite all the early chaos with parking and standing room only areas….. The two ticket ladies were complete niceness….

Why is Thug Jones coming to the ring with a WWF Replica Championship Belt circa 1997?! I mean, I know that HWA and it’s supporters will get mad at my long winded diatribe about it being a glorified backyard promotion, but how am I supposed to take anyone seriously as a professional wrestler who carries a WWF replica belt to the ring?! I mean, shit man, when I go to any wrestling show, there will be AT LEAST one fan in attendance with that same belt or a belt similar to it, so I could just infer that these people are some champion in HWA too…. Couple that with their out of shape ring bodies and ham and egger ring attire, I should just assume every chucklehead at an indy show sitting ringside with a replica belt, is some champion in HWA…. Awesome, HWA…. Pure Awesome * golf clap *

I enjoyed seeing Chris Michaels…. It had been awhile, since I had seen him live, in person, on a card I attended…. He, must sleep in the same cryogenic freezing tube with Jeff Daniels, because both these guys never change…. They look the same now, as they did years ago….

In the same vein, it’s good to see Shane Morton, keeping the Morton wrestling name alive, well into the 2010’s…. My grandfather was complaining that he wasn’t invited to this event and I had to tell him it was probably because someone had lost his number…. I offered to buy him a ticket… his response was ‘ I’ll be goddamned if a Gulas gets anymore of my goddamn money, to add to what they already stole from me back when I wrestled!!!! ‘ …. It was also pretty classic, when he read the story on the Fargos in the ‘ Tennessean ‘ and got especially mad when he read how much money they ‘ claimed ‘ to have made…. He just yells out, while laughing ‘ That’s goddamn rich….. pure BALDERDASH!!!!!!!!! ‘ …. I love the word Balderdash….

To wrap it all up, overall I’d give the show a C ….. It would have definitely been a negative F, had SAW not been on the card with Gulas OSW…. I just can’t understand how the promoter for HWA could put those matches on a card with the talent SAW and Gulas OSW put out there…. I’d be ashamed…. It’s like standing to take a piss in a long line of stalls…. And standing next to you are two guys equipped with what appears to be, in size, a baby elephants trunk, as a penis, and you whip out your little cocktail weiner and they just start laughing and you quickly zip up while pissing all over your shoes and jeans and run out crying ( which was what HWA did to this card, coincidentally ) …..

I don’t understand, how as a wrestler, you can’t go to highspots.com, and order some gear and look presentable or go get a two week gym pass somewhere and hit it hard before a major show like this….. shit, get in contact with me and I’ll hook you up with some passes…. It might come off like I’m being extremely hard on HWA, and I am…. I love wrestling, I love Nashville and Southern wrestling, but I can’t stand when a promotion makes a mockery out of it, intentionally or unintentionally…. Get your wrestlers in a gym, get them some gear, get them some training, get them a bathroom where they don’t have to walk through the crowd to get there, get the refs some black shoes instead of the clown/bowling/tennis shoe – hybrid they were wearing… I just get tired of seeing everyone with a little bit of money, thinking they can run a wrestling promotion…. It just dilutes a product that is already far over saturated anyways…. Vince had it all wrong, when he wanted to inject the WWE with a lethal dose of poison to kill it off, when he brought in the N.W.O. , he should have contacted Doc Brown and gone into the future and brought in 50 percent of the roster for HWA…. It would have killed it immediately….

13 dollars was a good price for the ticket…. For sheer volume purposes, you couldn’t beat the price and with SAW and Gulas OSW, it made the price worth it, along with a few - and when I say ‘ few ‘. I mean ‘ few ‘ as in ‘ chickenhat has a FEW pairs of underwear without shit caked in them ‘ – HWA performers…. Hoodrich and Morton …..

Met Larry Goodman finally, he dude is totally nice and a never ending stream of wrestling knowledge and facts.... If you want the in depth review of thematches, definitely check out his review when it gets posted on the Georgia wrestling history site or trent's site....

Don’t forget to email me the meaning of ‘ stalwart ‘ , the first correct answer, gets the Terry Funk WWE 2010 Legend Card…. Also, email me if you agree, disagree or just want to talk about wrestling…. Thebro1869@yahoo.com

' It's like Carfax for Wrestlers! '

A red haired woman in crew socks and glasses does it for me all the time

In the used car industry, they have this little term called a ‘ refurbished wreck ‘ …. It’s where a car dealership will take a car that has been totaled, spend the lowest amount possible to get it running and looking nice, then sell it again, without notifying the buyer that the car was a complete and utter hopeless, incompetent, piece of shit a few months ago…..

It’s why Carfax was invented…. Now, you can type in the vehicles identification number and pull up information about the car, that would quickly notify you if it had been involved in a serious wreck….

How this pertains to wrestling, you wonder…..

There’s a part of me that wishes that wrestling had a Carfax system of sorts….

We’d call it ‘ Wrestlefax ‘

Whenever you decide to become a wrestler, there should be two things you have to do first….

- Get trained by some shitty independent wrestler in a run down gym, storage unit, church rec room or storage room of whatever ‘ shoot job ‘ said shitty wrestler works at…..

- Get a bar code tattoo, unique to you, that can be scanned by promoters before offering you work, that would print out your work history, tendencies and probabilities

You don’t think Dixie Carter would have LOVED to have had a ‘ wrestlefax ‘ system when she signed the contract to purchase TNA?!

I could see that meeting now….

‘ Ok, I’m ready to sign ‘ …..

Jeff and Jerry start fist pumping and high-fiving each other and giggling like a fat ringrat sitting in the front row, getting a kiss blown to her from a wrestler she adores…..

‘ But, first I need to scan the barcode at the bottom of this contract to see exactly what I am purchasing ‘ she says, much to their dismay

‘ Well, why you gotta do that for?! We already told you everything you needed to know… we’re set up to become the number one wrestling organization in the Galaxy, that’s right, GALAXY, as in the cosmos! The never ending COSMOS, Dixie….. ‘ Jeff says, bewildered

‘ I know what you said Jeff, but I gotta tell you, I don’t trust men who wear girl jeans and got beat by a girl in a wrestling match ‘ Dixie retorts

‘ Fine Dixie, do your science fiction fancy scanning device thing, it’ll tell you what I just told you, we’re the greatest wrestling company on the face of earth, the face of the moon, the face of you…. Nothing can stop us from taking down Vince and the WWE… Nothing…. We had the goddamn Dupp Cup, an innovation in wrestling that made Albert Einstein snap up from his grave and go ‘ how come I didn’t think of this shit ‘ … so, go on, scan that barcode, let it reiterate what I just said and damn, I don’t know how to spell reiterate ‘ …..

Dixie scans the barcode….

Jeff and Jerry gather round Dixie and huddle up as they read the screen and the printout of what the barcode related to TNA said

‘ Whats all those letters mean?! ‘ Jeff shouts out, confused at a series of letter, formed into words, that in turn form a sentence….. as Jerry shakes his head mumbling ‘ awwww gawd, we done been had now ‘

Dixie smirks as she shakes her head

‘ Jeff, the readout says…. ‘ As long as you don’t have a problem buying the wrestling equivalent to the dying days of WCW, taking fired and laid off workers from other companies and hyping them as ‘ THE NEXT BIG THING ‘ despite the fact that most, when they were the ‘ BIG THING ‘ in their respective companies, failed. If you like taking top shelf wrestling talent, pushing them to the top, then pushing them over the edge into wrestling purgatory, never to be heard from again, or when they do, they are used sparingly in repackaged gimmicks/segments/vignettes, that make as much sense as The Kiss Demon…..Then this is for you…. And by ‘ you ‘ , I mean ‘ absolutely noone with a working brain ‘, that's why these two clowns run it …. The names have changed, the look has changed, but don’t be fooled…. THIS IS WCW circa 1998-2001 ‘ ….

‘ DADDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ‘ Jeff screams as he falls to the floor and curls up in a fetal position and sucks his thumb as tears stream down his face….

‘ My boy! You made my boy cry with your foolish Quantum Leap Wrestling Thingie, woman! ‘ Jerry says as he kneels down to pat Jeff’s platinum locks…..

‘ I’m sorry gentleman, this deal is over. I’m not buying ‘ Dixie says as she gets up to leave….

* BEEP BEEP *

The wrestlefax scanner makes a sound to notify of another incoming message

‘ What’s that devil computer saying to you now, Woman, I demand to hear it! ‘ Jerry says

‘ Noooooooooo! ‘ Jeff says as he cries more and sucks his thumb harder

Dixie laughs and smirks as she looks at the screen….

‘ It says that I should let The Bro have buttsecks with me, because he invented this in the future and sent it back here, to the past, to help me not purchase this company…. It also says ‘ LOL @ Matt Hardy wearing dreadlocks in his debut with company in 2011 ‘ …..

‘ Ohhhhh gawddammit, The Bro done did it again!!!!!! ‘ Jerry says as he start kicking Jeff in the head….

‘ Get up… get your ass up, boy…. You’re a shame to my last name, you have old church ladies hair and you wear girl jeans…. Bedazzled?! What kind of man wears jewels on his damn jeans?! Not, The Bro, that’s who…. And he’s having buttsecks with that fine woman angel demon who just DIDN’T buy our gotdamn company!!!!!! ‘

See, how awesome that would have been for Dixie…. We could have been married, had little bro’s and little bro-seys, I could have worn a cowboy hat and smoked a cigar as we looked over our oil empire in a mansion where I could have shower-sex with Dixie, but instead of hot water, it would have been hot, crude oil…..

Ah, a man can dream…..

I could have saved her years of heartbreak and the dwindling of her bank account, if I had invented this years ago….

But, just for shits and giggles, let’s do a ‘ what if ‘ of what certain wrestlers ‘ wrestlefax ‘ barcodes would say if they were scanned by a promoter before being hired…. I’ll put their name first, followed by what the ‘ wrestlefax’ info would say on them…..

Matt Hardy – ‘ Schizophrenic, Will cost catering a Kings Ransom, Will look like the baby of Evan Karagious and Awesome Kong in a few weeks, if not NOW ‘

Jeff Hardy – ‘ LOL, do I even have to put anything here…. JUST LOOK AT HIM!!! ‘….

At which point a promoter will look at Jeff as he’s standing in front of them, asleep while standing up, his face looking like a homeless clown on a bad acid trip….

The promoter tries to tap him on the shoulder to wake him up…. Jeff snaps out of it going ‘ mannnnnnn, you ever looked at the stars man….. you ever just looked at them? Because if you do, you’ll notice they all blink man…. And those blinks, when put into morse code, spells out my name man… why?! Because I’m one with the universe man….. ‘

At which point he falls back asleep, snoring, while still standing up, but doing his Jeff Hardy entrance dance…. As syringes and acid paper fall out of his pants pockets….

Then Matt runs over to pick them up… The promoter is struck by how sweet this is…. Matt trying to hide his brothers obvious drug use….

But, is then quickly taken aback as Matt starts laughing…..

‘ Finally, I got these bad boys, he’s been hiding these for years!!!!!! ‘ he says as he holds up the syringes high in the air, in his hands, laughing maniacally….

‘ I can now just inject sugar and liquid meat directly into my veins!!!!!! ‘ he says as he walks off, still laughing maniacally….

Kevin Nash – Remember that borderline fat girl that was in the sorority you were in, in college, who thought she was the shit?!

You tolerated her, because she was in your sorority, but she always got on your nerves... She always ate too much, had a double chin even with her teenage metabolism and bragged about the few times she had sex with a couple members of the football team, when they were drunk and hanging precipitously close to the alcohol poisoning line….

Now,in present times, this girl is fat, lazy, has 6 kids,in a loveless marriage and keeps telling people about how she was in a sorority and had sex with the star football player on the team, trying to hang onto the glory days, living in the past, because the present isn’t much fun…..

And all you wanna do is grab her by her fat face and go ‘ they had sex with you, because they were passed out…. AND…. It was two offensive linemen!!!!!! ‘ …..

Yeah, this is the equivalent to Kevin Nash in wrestling…..

Elijah Burke/The Pope – You know The Rock?! Remember him from WWE?! Yeah, this is the illegitimate thrift store baby of his and John Morrison’s…. Only he got John Morrison’s mic skills, has his own brillo pad chest hair and wears a surgical mask with jewels on it…. For some reason, even though he’s a pimp... Don’t see too many, check that, ANY, pimps wearing surgical masks of any kind, let alone one with jewels on it….

Eric Bischoff – Was once a brilliant wrestling mind….. Now, he’s like the Grand Canyon of wrestling…. Ideas and innovations once ran through Bischoff’s brain like water once ran through the Grand Canyon…. But, they’re both dried up and barren now….

And, it’s sad really….

He’s like Doc Brown still, to this day, going around to people going

‘ I’m brilliant!!!!! In 1985 I created a time traveling car that took my friend marty back to 1955!!!!!! ‘ …

and everyone, just looks at him and goes

‘ Dude…. We know…. We’ve seen that movie a thousand times…. Since then, we’ve had other time traveling movies that have been equal too or better than that…. ‘ Bill and Ted ‘ for example…. They didn’t have to use plutonium either… Just hop in a phone booth and BAM! Time traveling!!!! way simpler dude…. ‘

as Doc Brown just walks off dejectedly, kicking at a few rocks mumbling about ‘ I still got it, by god! I know I do… don’t I?! ‘ …..

This is Bischoff….

Ric Flair – Best pure entertainer in Wrestling history, perhaps?! Needs to retire…. His legacy, while not tarnished yet, is taking a beating…. Let the man have some dignity, please!

Hulk Hogan – Remember that Seinfeld episode where Kramer got a job?! He went to work everyday and carried a briefcase, yet no one knew exactly what he did and the company had no idea what he did, until the boss called him in and looked at a report that he had done and said something like

‘ And this…. I don’t even know what this is or what it’s supposed to mean ‘ …..

And then the boss fired him…. This will be Hulk Hogan in TNA…. At the end, when he’s fired…. People will read about Hulk’s TNA career and go

‘ I don’t even know what this is…. ‘

Dudley Boys – Remember when Steven Segal first hit the scene and you were like

‘ OMG!!! This dude’s soooooo awesome!!!!!! He could beat any karate/martial artist in the worlddddddddd man, and he wears a kimonooooooooooo!!!!! ‘ ……

And now you see him on The Lifetime Movie Network starring in a movie called ‘ Lady on the Run ‘ , where he plays the menacing but sweet hired protection for a mafia informant trying to live in the witness protection program who is caught between loving her husband, a mafia crimelord, and her new budding love for her hired protection…..

Yeah, this is the Dudley Boys now…..

Douglas Williams – Who?!

Mick Foley – Just like an adoptive child… The one you go to the orphanage to see, and he's the teenage kid who is ugly and fat, but has a killer personality and you feel bad for them, because their parents didn’t want them anymore, so you take a chance and adopt them….

They offer some joy and happiness and then one day they’re like

‘ I wanna know who my real parents are!!!! ‘ ….

Then they meet them and come to you and go

‘ look, they’re way cooler and they want me back and since they are my parents….. wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ‘ … And then they leave, as you cry and shout

‘ WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?! ‘ …

This is Mick Foley…. He will leave for the WWE when the phone rings and the dollar drops….

These are just a few examples of what my ' wrestlefax ' system could have done to help TNA and the wrestlers.... There will be more to come.... thebro1869@yahoo.com