The following are all outtakes from the previous years. Things that didn't make my blog... Just little snippets and clips.... Check them out... Kinda like ' deleted scenes ' from movies... Only better, because they're from me.... Obviously, there are a few themes that appear more than once....
- Tony Falk – Either drop a bomb or hire the CDC to cleanup the bathroom at the stadium inn…. How bad is it?! Chicken Hat tells you not to go in there…
When a man that sleeps and walks around in pants that contain his own feces and lays down on a mattress with stains aplenty tells you ‘ I wouldn’t go in there if I were you ‘ , you know there’s some serious business in there….
How bad is it?! For the first time in recorded history, shit actually tries to enter the body instead of exiting once it leaves the body…. It takes one look at the toilet it’s about to enter and is like ‘ no way dawg, im backing the fudge express back up the tracks… ain’t happening here! ‘ ….
- Boogie Woogie Boy.... God, I've had enough of the air humping of underrage girls faces.... Where the fuck is Chris Hansen when you need him?! He's likely be at a USWO show, see Boogie Woogie Boy doing this movement and say his patented catchphrase of ' have a seat for me over there ' .... Boogie Woogie would try totake a seat, but the stadium inn seats, being relics of World War II era, classrooms, would fall apart as soon as his fatass sat down...
- Can someone arrest Dyanna Dawnn?! She commits a crime every saturday night at 9:30, or thereabouts.... She rapes my ears.... Her singing wouldn't be acceptable at a deaf convention... And, who wants to put bets that she has a spider and tumbleweeds rolling around in her vag?! Been awhile, as in never, since a peen has entered that thing....
Or how about you just get off my TV….
- Leah Hulan – your resolutions are simple…. Come and arrest me…. I haven’t jumped any bails…. Never been in prison…. However, I can combine those two and jump your bones and have sex with you prison style.... Boom!
- Everything is bad about this guy….. From his gimmick to his work rate…. Now look, I understand he’s old and maybe he was a good wrestler, in his prime…. You know…. The 1960’s…. Back then gas was 10 cents a gallon and you could get a mug of beer for 25 cents….. Things change…. Sadly, his gimmick hasn’t…. Who cares about cowboys anymore, anyways?! Retards, maybe?! Which explains why he likes the gimmick I guess….
- The dude is about as nimble as a three week old corpse stuck on a frozen tundra…. He makes The Great Khali look like a ballerina in the ring and catlike with his quickness….
Local Promo Cutter Of The Year – Jeff Daniels
This dude should probably win it every year…. He just has the perfect voice and tone for it….
Tony Falk should win promoter of the year.... First off, ‘ the boys’ seem to actually enjoy working for Tony, which could be either good or bad, depending on who you talk to…. Good, because there’s not a lot of problems between promoter and talent to cause matches to be horrible...
and bad, because you see ‘ Johnny Heel ‘ out in the parking lot, grabbing the ass of some underage ringrat who drives off with him half hanging out the window, who then gets comforted by another ‘ tons of fun ‘ who gives him a blowjob behind the hotel….
But, there’s something to be said about a promoter in the wrestling environment we are in today, who can run a show, every week, at the same place AND most of the time, runs two shows at the same place, EVERY WEEK….
He’s like the Terminator of Nashville Wrestling Promoters…. Like, I bet if you caught Tony changing in a dressing room, you’d see him peeling off his skin and underneath would be a robot…. I don’t doubt this at all….
I told a friend once – ‘ when the end of the world comes, from a nuclear bomb being dropped, the underground bunkers where the government will be kept in safe hiding, will have computer screens that pick up signs of life around the United States after the attack…. One day after the strike, a blip will start blinking on the computer screen, indicating a life form has been found…. Then more and more blips start blinking on the screen….. Mysteriously, all the activity is located in Nashville….
Yep, it’ll be Tony Falk, running wrestling shows with cockroaches in the rubble of the hotel that was once called ‘ The Stadium Inn ‘ ….. They won’t have to be trained, because they’ve studied the moves for years and the best part…. Cockroaches multiply like mofuggers, so think of all the family members each one booked could bring…. I think I just heard Tony squeal with delight at that prospect.
Oh! and somehow ChickenHat would still be sitting in his same seat, unscathed and unaware that a nuclear blast took place wiping out humanity….
- I’d like to see USWO move from the Stadium Inn at some point this year….. I used to go to the shows, and enjoyed myself, but dealing with the ‘ condemned ‘ – like conditions of the building, no concessions, seats that look like they were used around a Civil War campfire to discuss battle plans, less than reputable characters with weird twitches and crazy eyes hanging out in the parking lot and a bathroom that makes the prisoners who used to be held at Guatanamo Bay shake their heads and talk about how deplorable it is, has kept me from going…. I’m not asking for much…. Just a place to go watch Wrestling at, without the chance of contacting a disease the CDC doesn’t even have a name for yet….
I’d like to see Tony Falk not book Petey Wright anymore. Especially, in main events…. First off, how can you take this guy seriously in a main event?! He makes Air Paris, Chris Vaughan, Shane Eden and Tim Renesto look like Batista in comparison…. Plus, he banged Lindsay Lohan, so when he gets in the ring, I’m sure he has little nut bugs jumping off his balls, out his wrestling shorts and running around on the mat to infect any wrestler who might come into contact with them…. Which leads me to a thought…. If, you got herpes from one of Petey’s escaped nut bugs, could you claim that Lindsay Lohan gave them to you, you know, by default of course….. If so, that’s some street cred…..
- I’d like to see USWO keep it’s wrestlers in the locker-room until the end of the show…. It’s highly annoying to look over and see a wrestler coming through the doors and getting an envelope from Tony and hem-hawing with him, when 20 minutes earlier, they were a heel and having angry words with him…. If you have to leave early and can’t stick around, get a runner to handle this for you…. I don’t like to see wrestlers in the lobby hitting on the ringrats… First, it’s in the middle of a show…. Secondly, I’ve seen the talent that come to these shows and to me, this seems to be the easiest to follow…. I’d want nothing to do with them…. They all look like they just got done clearing out the buffet at Ponderosa and then went to Kmart where they proceeded to buy all their clothes from the ‘ husky juniors ‘ collection…. But, to tie this in with my previous point…. The boys could use one of these rotund lasses to be the whole locker-rooms runners to get their payouts…. She could stick each individuals envelope in a roll of fat located on her person….
She returns to the back
‘ I got your payouts! ‘ ….. ‘ yours is in my under-arm fat….. yours is in my back fat….. yours…. I think it’s in my ass fat and let’s see…. You in the back… yeah, upper thigh fat…. 6th roll…. Yours is there ‘
- I’d like to see USWO get serious about wrestling again…. It seems like Tony is more interested nowadays, in putting on a show where he can get the most money from. So, instead of booking really good wrestlers, he books a ton of people whose only contribution to the show is some ridiculous looking ring attire and, at a minimum, 5 paying family members or friends….. Who come and either become that persons cheering section or that persons heat section…. So, basically it’s all canned and a work all around….
- More Shane Williams on TV… The guy is a stud, can cut promos and is a more than capable wrestler…. His promos lately using his ‘ King ‘ gimmick have been golden and the
- I predict that in 2011, certain promoters will, for one night, put their past behind them, and if this really is the last year for the fairgrounds ( and yes, I know it may not be, especially with the recent developments ) , will put on ONE last mega show to commemorate the Fairgrounds, the way it should be done…. No promotion will sponsor it, it’ll just be a show…. Book the people that mean the most to the fairgrounds, no matter what beef they have or a promoter has with them, and send out ‘ The Mecca ‘ on a high note….
- I predict that in 2011, TNA will return to Nashville to run a small number of shows here a year…. Not necessarily at the Fairgrounds, but maybe Municipal…. I think Orlando has run it’s course and I understand production costs and such are cheaper there, but I think they’re slowly catching on to the fact that the live crowd there, hurts a lot of their segments….
- I will not book Petey Wright, based entirely on the fact the only thing he brings to a show are ticket buyers…. First off, the east Nashville hipster crowd he pulls in are highly annoying…. They come for two things – him….. And trying to annoy anyone who comes within a 45 foot radius of them…. And it’s just weird man…… The girls dress like boys in their white vneck tshirts and tattered and torn jeans and the guys, dress like girls in their girl pants and mascara…. I get the fact Tony wants a ‘ hot ‘ crowd, but dealing with these hipster fucks is just annoying....
- Who the fuck books Petey Wright on a show?! His gimmick is that of a heroin addicted bulemic?! How does this work?! Oh... Hi. Jeff Hardy!
- Rick Santel used to look like Elian Gonzalez.... Now he looks like Lo-Pan.... Does that mean sooner or later he'll look like the Dos Equis guy?!
- Where the fuck is Faron Foxx when you need a good gay wrestler?!
- I miss Burt's raffles the most.... Mainly the chance to get a ripped up, and taped back together box that has ' Ron Simmons ' written on the outside, but a Sting figure contained on the inside.... And, then watch Bonnie Baldwin spend AT LEAST 15 dollars trying to win it...
- My kids think I'm on drugs everytime I tell them that Shane Helms, Shannon Moore and Abyss all wrestled here locally all the time... I still remember the underage ringrats going apeshit when ' you might as well be walking on the sun ' hit and Shannon and Shane came out.... It was ridiculous.... It was also one of the best times in Nashville Wrestling history....
- This halloween I wanna dress up as the Colorado Kid.... It wouldn't be that hard.... find a good mullet wig and some homeless male strippers leopard print underwear.
It's my birthday homos.... I'm given a pass with a deleted scenes type of blog...
Email me... thebro1869@yahoo.com
i actually loved this! happy birthday bro!
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